Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Conundrum


Recently Miz Know It All was taken to task by a young woman for being callus in both her wording and her choice of tone. Both of which are in fact somewhat true. Miz Know It All can, and she often does show a certain hardness usually characteristic of, and evidenced by, those jaded by the passing of time. While that may be true to a certain extent, there are other more compelling reasons she seems so hardened!.

The young woman in question seemed to feel (and rightly I might add) that those of us who have in the parlance "Been There, Done That should be more encouraging to those like herself. That if we, having "Been There, Done That," cannot be more caring, more concerned, that we send a meta message of hopelessness! Again she is right... to a point. For you see there is a conundrum faced by every sister when it comes to what she can and does say on line and how.  Because it is not just the few who read these words! Rather our words are tossed upon the winds to be read by Lord only knows who! But this much can be said with certainty! Our words are read with a far greater frequency by those who have created a false narrative from others "borrowed words" than they are read by those for whom their narrative was written into the stone of their lives in letters of blood!

This same Conundrum predates the internet by many many years. In fact the word Connudrum was chosen to describe what it means to face the whole of Transsexuality by the writer, Jan Morris and it is with a nod to her that I would now like to borrow the term to describe a more specific facet of what faces those women of history who would dare to put their words down now in the age of instant media!

For the woman of history in the here and now, the conundrum is this... If the words we would like to say are said in the hopes of reaching the young like the woman who took Miz Know It All to task. Then those same words are also being read by the fifty to one, who, searching for ways to hide their own shame at having issues of gender, cannot and will not put forth their own and true narratives! Instead, they read those accounts of transsexuals who really and truly had no choices in the matter, and with neither the same experiences or understanding, they adopt their words as their own! The perfect example being Jan Morris's most famous catch phrase!  "A woman trapped in a man's body!" Prior to the publication of her book that phrase, or anything similar was not to be found in any of the narratives offered either to the public or to the gatekeepers! Yet within months of the book hitting the stands, it was how every single account of gender variance became "a woman born into a man's body!"  Now either there was actually a sudden and unexplained emergence of women trapped in a men's bodies in 1974, or the term had been borrowe by those for whom it was not, prior to this, part of their narratives! Oh sure there is to be found a certain ease in this phrase in explaining the unexplainable using this easy metaphor. But the point remains that it is curious how this came about.

An example that is closer to home with Miz Know It All is the Phrase "Always a Woman" Which btw, always grates on her very last nerve, because it is simply dreadful English! One cannot have always been a woman unless one has always been an adult female! Children are not and cannot have been woman! Hence it is impossible for one to have "always" been a woman! Now aside from the bastardization of the mother tongue. The main reason this grates so is that it is a bald faced lie! Miz Know It All was friends with the woman who coined this phrase. A woman of history who went by the Nom de Plume "Kate Grimaldi!"  What "Kate" was trying to express more than a decade back was that for those born transsexual! and ONLY for those born transsexual. That once all is said and done, in retrospect, it becomes clear that one has always been a female. One who was dealing with what has to be the most horrible hand possible!  When Kate first put this out there, there is no small irony in how she was taken to task over and over again by then nascent TG! Who at the time were not about to give up so easily on having had their former  glorious man-selves! They had been born male, they had lived as males, and many of them were, then as now, intent upon retaining that which makes one male! More so, before this idea spread and twisted,, the standard narrative for the TG was that they remembered how this grew upon them! Usually it starting with some sexualized exposure to women's clothing as an erotic device somewhere between 13 and 19 give or take a few years and even then it die not become an real issue until their thirties or later... VS. the TS. who to a one had memories of their being at odds with their genitalia going back to their first explorations of self between two and five!

Yet it is with true regret that I remember how well Kate argued her points! Because shortly after this... "the true narrative of the TG" suddenly and completely changed! No longer was there any mention of by them of ever having been aroused by women's clothing! No longer was there any mention of the age of onset being as a tweener to teener,  nor of the other part which was how it had grown in intensity as the years progressed!

No, now, beholding of this kernel of "the TS narrative" hand crafted by Kate and then stolen, morphed and parroted back, "they" all suddenly knew "they were always women" while still in utero! "They had always been women" (female, well now! That was, and is still too much of a stretch for those who quite like having that penis O' theirs don't cha know!!) They now have also always known then and yet, somehow, they, unlike us, have managed to survive and not only that but to survive quite well., Well into their fifties, sixties and beyond! This, if bolstered by how with the age of easy access to info about TS being close to fifty years old, that the age of onset of any "gender crisis"seems to have risen in these same TG! Going from a then old age of, forties fifties to now their fifties and sixties and even later!  Again it is always done with stolen bits of narrative. All of it partially digested then parroted back about having always struggled with their HUGE issues... but never does it seem to jive how these issues could have been that HUGE or that much of a struggle as they seemed to have little to no problem getting it on with the little woman as men every Saturday night for the last thirty some years or more! Yeahhh... they were always women... right...

Miz Know It All was not the only sister to notice this phenomena and so she did what most of us did! We all started to take the serious discussions about ourselves off line. Having our discussions on originations, on explorations and the like. Conversations that can only come to be known from a life time of learning. All of which is said quietly and well out of ear shot of the TG... Because without fail, it seems that every time something of our knowing leaks out, and if it unfortunately makes it's way into the male minds who mine our narratives for such things... The knowledge would be taken, twisted and then parroted back as their bestest and alwaysest knowing, even if they could not at gun point begin to say what any of it really and truly meant!

So therein lies the conundrum! Do we hope for the best and write only for the ears of those whom we would dearly love to have it go to? Knowing that in the telling for those few, that our words would be harvested by the many, to be made over into a knot of lies? A knowing and telling, which in the end would only serve to make the lives of the few all the harder? Or do we keep our fences up and mended? Pray to the gods we might still pray to, that these few might survive alone as we keep our council and those still unknown  quantities to ourselves? Only imparting them when we can directly and one to one. If and only if when we can and only for those for whom they are relative? Alas experience has taught that the latter is the only way!

So it is with my deepest apologies to the young woman, that I cannot and will not become the writer she and I both wish I could be!

Sadly yours
MKIA





94 comments:

  1. Very well said.

    Anon-18

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  2. I must assume this was directed at me.

    Sadly, the point I was trying to make previously has (it appears) STILL been missed.

    Not being a fool myself (at least IMOO) I'm VERY aware of this "conundrum" I was NOT requesting more "supportive" writing, nor was I suggesting narratives be shared, what I WAS requesting was less sensationalism in what one has to say. what does sensationalizing a topic that is NOT (in my experience at least) in ANY way sensational achieve?

    Only one thing that I can think of.

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  3. It was you Renee... and I was reading between the lines a bit in writing this as I wanted to cover the affected territory and not just one little corner because, much of what I write is not designed for those like yourself with a more "global thought process," rather, they are directed towards those with a more shall we say "compartmental thinking," whom as you know, (or will know) you have to whack upside the head just to get their attention! To actually make yourself heard with that group? Well what can I say? I like a challenge!

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  4. Blah blah, we get it, You're an authentic transsexual and everyone who isn't you or disagree's with you is a fake and doesn't deserve to live. You're just another radical with a typically extreme viewpoint. I'm sure it makes you feel great about yourself to have so much validation from "real women" and other "real transsexuals" who agree with you. At the end of the day though, you're just a bigot, plain and simple.

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    1. You deserve to live, in spite of being a fake who hides his fetish behind a legitimate condition that you don't share. Stop lying to the world and to yourselves and just admit you are fetishists who enjoy playing "girl", instead of hiding in shame behind the term Transsexual which you are not by any stretch of the imagination.

      NYF

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  5. Same ol' song from Steve and wife. If you cannot buy into 'chicks with dicks', you must be a hateful old bigot. And meeeuuuooogly to boot!

    Where as the TeeGee hoardes are the truly enlightened progressives. Fancy pervs in their girlie clothes.

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  6. Funny about that "validation thing" unlike Anon 10:59, I don't need it! There in lies the difference betwixt thee and me. Your kind and mine, one which I doubt you will ever understand!

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    1. "Your kind and mine" but you don't see how generally violent and hate filled that very statement is? You don't see how you're saying that you're better than everyone else? You can't even deny it now, you said it yourself, there's you, and everyone else. Black and white, you're better, plain and simple. With such hate, it must be difficult being you. To me it sounds like you're the one with a problem.

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    2. Saying one does not need validation isn't saying someone is any better, it is simply saying one is secure in who they are.
      Therein lies the very item the limp wristed sticky hand Tee-Gees lack.

      Delete
    3. @The limp-wristed, sticky fingered gay-guy who exhibits the brain of a peanut, a simple Xmas FYI. Radical extremist is a term for those like the perpetrators of 9/11, Columbine and Sandy Hook. They come in all denominations, colors and sexual orientations.

      Their one defining quality is that they HATE society and what it represents to them, IE rejection and (self imposed), repression. You, very much like them, are a loser and beyond that, you hate those that conform and function within that society that rejects your delusions.

      This is what is expressed in your rants and accusations. That society rejects you is as normal, rational and understandable as not placing one's hand on a hot stove.

      A-18

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    4. Actually A-18 you are as full of it as the Tee-Gees are.
      I for one love society and am immersed in it's mainstream being a women of operative history who has successfully become a part of that society which the limp wristed sticky fingered Tee-Gees have alienated themselves from. To put it short and sweet I have a life among women and am well accepted. What about you and your Tee-Gee friends?

      I don't HATE people, I may and do HATE the actions of some who operate in the margins of society like those who would force themselves into women's spaces while still packing a penis. Like those who support sex with minors no matter how young they are, like those who would take my right to own a gun away because some whack job killed 29 people in a place that advertises there are no guns for which to defend themselves. I might hate it when some religious nut case comes to the door trying to get me to join the church of the sixth cosmic belch or some such stupidity, but I don't hate people. As a matter of fact, I love my fellow man and woman.

      Can you say the same thing.

      Oh and I did forget to sign my post above.

      NYF

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    5. @NYF. Well yes, I am quite full of myself and proud of it. Perhaps if you might take the time to carefully re-read what I poste w/o the benifit of your paranoid/defensive reading glasses, you might note that my comment was addressed to the same, " limp wristed sticky hand Tee-Gees", that you described.

      Ah well, how easy it is to jump to conclusions.

      Have a Merry Christmas. I certainly plan to.

      A-18

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    6. I offer up my apology A-18

      NYF

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    7. This entire blog exists to stroke your ego.

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    8. Kiss my ass, you crossdressing faggot.

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  7. Ok, well I might say that you've used quite the broad brush again in addressing this.

    Firstly; If you reference your comment thread you’ll see that it was YOU who initially took ME to “task” for simply expressing my own opinion.

    "The young woman in question seemed to feel (and rightly I might add) that those of us who have in the parlance "Been There, Done That should be more encouraging to those like herself."~MKIA

    Secondly; no, I did NOT say or suggest this at all. All I was requesting was that whilst being honest, we strive NOT to;

    "send a meta message of hopelessness!"~MKIA

    Just DON'T be another in the world of voices telling girls they can't! they will never!, it's impossible! OR; it's so hard it would be easier just to kill yourself, because the chances you can have what you need are next to impossible, don’t be another person telling her the easiest way is to be “trans” forever!

    Don't be: her mother, her father, her sister or brother, her school teacher, the reflection she sees every day when she looks in the mirror, the reality she sees every time she changes her underwear!
    She's got enough pushing her to go suck a revolver as it is, if you can't be helpful or supportive (and of all people I understand why that is) at least don't be another thing making it harder, that is all I was trying to say!

    As for those you need to smack upside the head; honestly? If they want to fuck themselves and their lives up then I only have a problem with that when (as above) they make life harder for others, other than that they can GO NUTS! (Literally)

    Secondly: "like herself"~MKIA….. What is that to you exactly?

    And finally, I'm interested to know what it is that I've written (if anything) and where, that has lead you to the assessment that I'm a "young" woman

    More importantly, I'm interested as to whether that assessment is relative to my age OR what you deem to be my life experience

    And MOST! importantly, REGARDLESS of how you've reached EITHER of those assessments, I'm interested in exactly what bearing you think either might have on this post?

    I wonder if there is a lesson that budding young women might be able to take from our exchange MKIA? Something most women learn as they age? One of the BIG lessons of life women learn and are taught by life and the women around them from an early age? Something I would think you should be aware of and yet it seems you’ve persistently snubbed? (a lesson I've learned to live my life by)

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    1. Ironically, Renee is the one who seems to know it all. All the male one-upsmanship in these comments is very telling.

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  8. Some thoughts on hatred:

    http://ben-girl-notesfromthetside.blogspot.com/2011/10/hate-and-transgender-crowd.html

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  9. At the end of the day, L, G, B, T, Q or Jew, we're ALL on the same train to Auschwitz, Dachau, it won't make much of a difference how well you pass, or if you're more of a woman than that "guy in a dress" or that "sticky fingered Tee Gee".
    Oh you'll try to rationalize it away, that you're not trying to spread hate, it could never happen in today's world, you'll work really hard at it, but the truth will still be there, written in history as a huge warning to all those who might hate on another group for being different. Enjoy your momentary success, and be sure to oppress while you have the chance, before you become the oppressed again.

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    1. Just another case of Godwin's Law adapted to the occasion

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    2. @Kathryn,

      I see your Godwin's Law and raise you Cohen's Law, which puts a stop to circular logic. Works like this "Whoever resorts to the argument 'whoever resorts to the argument that.... has automatically lost the debate' has automatically lost the debate"

      Anon 12:06's analogy is solid, albeit off thread topic a bit, yet I feel MKiA is just "judging" her way to an ERASURE narrative. Judging simply attempts to set the judge's opinion above those of the people involved and that is the core definition of hubris. By derivation an a priori catigory is created, whereby MKiA's reasons to present are more valid than the created catigory.

      Delete
  10. It's interesting how those who haven't much to loose are always the ones to pull this tired old canard. Hoping once again to beat any who dare to question back into submission with their own humanity! Saying that it is hate if anyone dares to question them! That it is hate if anyone dares to say I am different than they are! That it is hate if anyone asks to not be part of something which works against the interests of those like themselves!

    This is hate? How exactly? How simply saying no going to put all these self appointed martyrs into death camps (don't you think that is just a wee bit too much hyperbole perhaps?)

    As for me? I do not hate! I do not wish ill! I do not deny anyone their right to express themselves through the guise of gender! No! The only thing that I as a female deny to them is that the act of putting on a dress or taking a few hormones will make you a woman! That somehow, magically your penis, the very thing which makes you a male is somehow feminine! That you have divine God given rights to force women into observing your fantasy with no more effort on your part than "you say so!"

    So call that oppression if you like, but better that you are called on it now before you and yours keep on asking for more and more and more until you trigger the backlash that is surely coming! The backlash that you can hid from by going back to "drab" whilst those who you always choose as the face of your "trans-ness" Those who, unlike you have no option suffer the wrath that you and you alone deserve

    Call that hate if you like. Me? I call it self preservation!

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    1. When the transapocalypse happens, at least we'll have each other. Who will you have?

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    2. Transapocalypse. ROTFLMAO!!!

      Actually, it's kind of sad how these goofballs feel the need to prefix everything with "trans".

      Delete
  11. You are correct MKIA. Those who fail in life will always accuse those that succeed as being the reason for their failures. The fact that we refuse to apologize for our success and refuse to join them in their misery and self loathing, enrages them further and causes them to wish us even greater harm. Hence the constant reference to death camps of Dachau. What hubris! What egotistical selfishness, to compare their damaged egos to genocide!

    How often is heard the hue and cry that we be 'dragged down', that we might be 'the same' as them. They would deny us our hard won right to walk openly in the light, that we should join them in their darkness.

    Truly the hatred is theirs. It is a bitter self hatred which prevents them from doing that which might lift them from their self imposed misery, into the light.
    A-18

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    1. If I meet your standards can I join your cult?

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  12. This is what gets me about the whole TDOR thing! Not that there are those who are raped, maimed and even killed for being who they are... No it is that the ones who are putting on these dog and pony shows are almost always, white, middle class or better, still very male, and about as likely to be raped or killed for their being "trans" as they are to get hit by a meteor! No! The the worst thing that is likely to happen to them is they are going to be laughed at! Oh the Humanity!

    Disregarded completely is the fact that most of those who are in fact raped, maimed or killed are for the most part sex workers, usually persons of color as well as poor!

    But if you dare to say any of how it is they are using the ones killed only to validate themselves and nothing more? It is who are the one branded a hate filled bigot! They on the other hand, using these people as callously as the johns who were their customers are lauded as being "sensitive and respectful of others!" BS and BS!

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    1. TDOR has become a travesty. A transvestite travesty. A bunch of transvestites publicly mourning the loss of transsexual sex workers, saying "we are just like them and so we fear for our lives too", before going home, changing their clothes, wiping off the makeup, and returning to their privileged male lives.

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    2. Agreed, there should be a two rape minimum to be in attendance.

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    3. No, the rule should be NO DICKS.

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    4. I guess that means FTM's can stay.

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    5. Not really. Some FTMs are dicks too.

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    6. MKIA you have once again hit the nail on the head in regards to TDOR. Invaded by closeted, and usually married men who are homosexual it is as you put it.
      As others here have affirmed it is white men in dresses who wallow in the blood of disenfranchised, often TS sex workers in order to embrace a false sense of doing something positive toward the problem. The day after the event it is though it never happened. The names are forgotten until the next dozen or so names are trotted out for the and used to validate themselves once again.

      If you have ever been to one of these it is obvious it is a mockery of the dead and as disgusting as that troop of homosexuals that pretend to be Catholic Nuns. It is enough to make any sane person puke until they dry heave.

      It would be foolish to expect anything more from these freakish people, everything they do is a parody of life a parody of what it is to be a woman anything that can be done to expose these people for who they are should be done.

      They are a cult of the absurd.

      NYF

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    7. While I agree with your statement:

      "it is white men in dresses who wallow in the blood of disenfranchised, often TS sex workers in order to embrace a false sense of doing something positive toward the problem."

      I am at a loss how that has anything to do with homosexuality. It adds nothing to your statement and seems to express simply a personal view on homosexuality.

      Delete
    8. I will clarify a couple of things for you Kathryn and others here. Here in California the racial mix of those who do attend TDOR is well represented throughout the 3 years I attended that event. Also in California the Gay Maphia runs those events Once in a southern California city, not to be mentioned here a TDOR event was put on by TS run by TS and all were invited to join in. the event went well, it was held in 2001. The next year thge local Gay Center took over the event and would not allow any of the TS organizers to work on the planning group. Instead it was planned and run by the local chapter of the Imperial Court and still is to this day. While the court doesn't publicly claim it's running the event the people who organize and run the event are all court members, none of which are Post op transsexuals, in spite of the claim they are.

      I had a conversation with a Post op former sex worker at the 2004 TDOR event and we both agreed that it had been ruined by and taken over by the homos.
      The icing on the bitter cake was a troop of drag queens dressed as nuns preforming at the event.
      I wanted to puke.
      I was so disgusted I will never attend any such event again. Those people are the lowest of the very low, what they have done is to rape our identity and narrative and plant their own demon seed in it, creating a bastard baby to serve their own disgusting needs. Another closet for the Tee-Gees to hide in.

      NYF


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  13. Auschwitz? Dachau? As a person who lost family members in such places, I am insulted that someone would compare these horrors and REAL DEATHS to the inconvenience that men suffer when they choose to play dress-up and expect the world to accept them as women!

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  14. ITT: radfems pretending to be post-op tranny's so they can pray on actual transsexuals under the guise of "fair game", lulz are had by all as someone pulls out hitler

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    1. so obvious too, "you're not really trans until you've been raped by johns". proxy rapists.

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    2. You win an internet.

      Delete
    3. Are we to assume you are confused between the meaning of prey and pray? Or do you actually "Pray" on transsexuals? If so, what deity might it be that you are praying to? And how many lulz to the pound, or is it peck? Also, might we ask, who is going to pull hitler out and from where? Lastly, ITT:radfems? I had no idea that international telephone and telegraph was owned by them! My O' My! The things you learn when you put out a blog!

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  15. @ Anon's 4:45 & 5:24. You are both brainless trolls with nothing to contribute. How appropo.

    A-18

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  16. "Years have passed and I keep thinking
    What a fool I've been
    I look back into the past and
    Think of way back then
    I know that I lost everything I thought that I could win
    I guess I should have listened to my friends

    All the burning bridges that have fallen after me
    All the lonely feelings and the burning memories
    Everyone I left behind each time I closed the door
    Burning bridges lost forevermore"

    You, MKIA, are that 'friend' standing by that bridge urging simple caution, awareness and personal responsibility. Sadly, the tranny culture eskews these simple virtues and because you call them to light you are demonized and set upon by angry trannys and rabid radphems.

    The conundrum, (A confusing and difficult problem or question), is not what information, experience or advice we might share, it is how to deal with a committed enemy, hell bent on the destruction of "normal/mainstream" society, IE: us, and the gender/sexual binary.

    They denigrate our Judeo-Christian values. They decry family values in the face of simple confirmed facts. Then to add insult to injury, (further highlighting their total lack of integrity), they claim to be just like us.

    No! I will not remain silent in the face of evil and sexual depravity.

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    1. Donna? Is that you?

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    2. Does it matter?

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    3. BS... The "poem" is a song "Burning Bridges" by the Mike Curb Congregation. It was featured in the movie "Kelly's Heroes". You can find it here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCjWQHpu3bY

      "Always with the negative waves, Moriarty, always with the negative waves!"

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    4. "let he who is without sin, cast the first stone"

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    5. This would be the same Mike Curb who was Lt. Governor of California in the '70s, helped Harvey Milk's campaign for supervisor in SF, and convinced Ronald Reagan to speak out against the anti-gay Briggs Initiative, BTW.

      Delete
  17. My honest opinion MKIA (not that anyone asked for it to begin with BUT!), from what I know of you (and others) there is so much you can offer and your writting is/could be invaluable for some and I also KNOW how well intentioned you are (and no-one has more respect for that than me), I just don't want to see girls stopped before they start.

    YES! that which an authentic transsexual NEEDS to accomplish is (for some) VERY difficult if not verging on impossible BUT! (a wise woman once told me there's ALWAYS a "but"), unless one tries and is prepared to work and continue trying, how might they ever know the joys they MAY experience?

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    1. Perhaps the point that is being overlooked is that burning one's bridges is an act of irrevocable finality. It cuts one off from one's past.

      While this is a welcome relief to someone born with the wrong past, (body), it can be devastating for those who just THINK they were, or who do not really understand the reality of what awaits them on the farside.

      Personally I find MKIA's parody both colorful and accurate. It serves as a simple warning to be ware what one wishes for.

      A-18

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    2. Renee You are right. No one wants to see the young quashed or shunted into a life sold cheaply just for that fleeting feeling of not being alone! But... and the sad point of the "conundrum" is that anything which is too sweet, too warm and most of all too welcoming is always overrun by the TG and their endless search for validation. Which means that the words aimed at the young will then co-opted into the false narrative and more who do not belong there will be added to their ranks

      This leaves the young in a state not far removed from where they were 50 years ago in their having to face the world, one against the many. If you have an answer to this I would love to hear it, but as far as I can see, until there is a real TG liberation so they can and do adopt a true narrative and gender expression within their actual sex. The young are going to have to face the gauntlet which has to be run to survive alone.

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    3. A-18 thank you! You got it! For those of us who should be here, a book of matches and a can of gasoline is a most welcome Christmas present!

      Delete
  18. A-18,
    and perhaps that point was NOT overlooked at all (at least not by me) can I ask, were YOU careful what you wished for?

    I gather you were fully aware of EXACTLY what to expect, you Bravely marched into that O.R. Completely 100% alone, having burnt every "bridge" to your male past?

    OR! Perhaps your personal experience limits YOUR perspective?...

    I see so many speak of this as experts yet I know so few who've TRULY had to destroy every part of their past life BEFORE! the point of no return. To have to do THAT is truly terrifying AND mortifying.

    My question is this: if transvestite men are truly such a problem for post operative women, then why the hell are we so concerned for them? Then warnings won't stop them they're men, the universe revolves around them individually. Let them screw up! Let there be more regret stories to warn off others, stories of loss and suicide, if you aren't a "trans" person anymore then just don't be one! If you truly have burnt all your bridges ( as is stated as being necessary) then surely you can't be touched?

    What these posts are about is IN FACT trying to
    Make it so that those who don't WANT to (or can't) burn theirs, don't have to!

    Fact of the matter is this; the reason for that is that those people made poor life choices early on, my heart goes out to them, BUT! NO woman EVER gets a "pass" plain and simple! Women pay a price in life for EVERY decision they EVER make.

    If that is NOT your situation (whether by your own choice or not) then you are NOT the equivalent of other women.

    You are "privileged"

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  19. "What these posts are about is IN FACT trying to
    Make it so that those who don't WANT to (or can't) burn theirs, don't have to!"

    Quite the presumption there, "Renee". Is this male privilege that I perceive in stating unequivically that THIS is what is meant by MIKIA's post, or... is this just YOUR desire or agenda?

    Is it your wish to be known as a woman who was once a man? Is that why you wish/NEED to drag your past along with you? How 'tranny' of you.

    It is my understanding of most of MKIA's posts that in HER mind, it is impossible to carry forward into your future, any remnant of your male past.

    As for my "wishes" and "expectations", my only wish was to survive and be whole. I had no expectations, other than to be rid of a peculiar and extremely troublesome physical abberation.

    My hope...was to live my life happily and productively as the woman that I am. Happily, my hopes have been realized. I would hope that you too might be so fortunate as to be so "privileged".

    A-18

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  20. Therein lies the "kicker" doesn't it A-18, the ONLY part of my "past" that was truly male and hence could not be brought foward to present (if possible) was surgically "removed" from my life permanently.

    I did NOT make (many) life choices that would be to painful to Deal with or that would NEED to try and "hide" because unlike 99% of the people who chat the narrative, I am NOT a fraud with a stolen narrative (see MKIA's above post).

    ReplyDelete
  21. P.S

    You "hoped"?....

    Well there you have it folks! There's a fool proof approach! I guess none of the people MKIA is "warning" have tried that one!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hope is a powerful thing,not to be disparaged. It is what keeps one alive when all else seems lost.

    I suppose the question that I might ask you, is what is it you hope for and more importantly what price are you willing to pay?

    What are you willing to sacrifice that you might attain what you hope for?

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  23. Is it something in my writing style or are all SERIOUSLY that dense?!!!

    Nearly every comment I've made has been aimed at NOT robbing young girls of their "hope" F F's S!!!

    Why do you all suppose that is?

    That said: "hoping" things will work out, "hoping" for the best, "hoping" SRS will make someone/you a woman (as a-18 claims to have done) is a long way short of a full assessment of ones actions and their repercussions.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am beginning to believe that it is you, Renee, that is being incredibly dense. Just where exactly did I claim that SRS "somehow...made me a woman".

    You twist my words and my meaning to fit/justify/affirm your own biased perspective. Again...How tranny of you.

    Is this how you dismiss those questions that you feel entitled to ask but refuse to answer?

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  25. You did not claim that A-18, but it goes in line (for most) with what you DID claim IE That you "hoped" life would turn out OK/as you wanted it to.

    Further, I don't owe you or anyone but myself any "answers" as I alone am accountable for myself and my life.

    My point was you (and others) tell everyone to be careful what they wish for, yet 99% of you lacked any true caution in what you did yourselves! That's called being a hypocrite and there is little in this world that I detest more than that.

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  26. Sheesh. Why do I get the feeling that the choir is about to come to blows, not because of a doctrinal issue but over how long to hold a fricking note in the second stanza!

    Ladies! Please! You both are right! But you are also arguing past each other about different things, thinking the other a total goober for not getting your points!

    Renee, You are right and I dare say that none of my commenters feel the least different, sans the few who delight in putting weasels in their underwear and foil hats upon their heads but I fear there may not be a way to accommodate your goal within this media, or at least I have not yet found it!

    A-18 You too are right!
    Hope (and a prayer) was all that any of us had as we faced the world alone... and that hope was not indicative of any lack of certainty of what we needed or of who we were, well other than the occasional lamentation of Job! But I dare say that none of us would still be here were there not a flicker of it to be found that what needed to be done could in fact be done! Otherwise we too would have all hit the eject button so many others have done!

    So hope is needed... albeit with the certainty of knowing, which is a vastly different creature than that which we tend to think of in the TG muddies waters surrounding us
    MKIA

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  27. I wonder MKIA if I have misunderstood your intent from the outset? I am human (and thus; fallible!) and if I have, I'd like to know so that I might offer my apologies.

    Some time ago in the comment section of another blog (which sadly is no longer available) I watched and read as four long term post-ops disparaged another blog, its content AND its author, one of those women also (somewhat) disparaged the content to me in private correspondence.

    I wonder if this post:

    http://helpingtranssexuals.wordpress.com/on-suicide/

    Encapsulates the point you were truly attempting to convey?

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  28. I honestly have no understanding of just how the TG think or feel. From my perspecive, they are all over the map/"spectrum". From what I have read, many feel much as we did so very long ago, BUT only on Wednesdays and Fridays. Other times on Saturdays and Mondays...OR as an expression of different facets of their individual, (or separate?), presonalities.

    It is for this reason that I find it difficult to offer anything of value when it coms to the TG experience other than to counsel extreme caution when venturing into areas from which there is no return, (IE burning bridges).

    Another problem I see is that they come in every different variety imaginable and that any effort to try to quantify or classify is seen as judgemental or "class warfare". Certainly not the best environment for scientific inquiry.

    On the other hand to address those issues raised by both MKIA and Renee, I can say that for some of us, a painfully precious few, our last remaining hope was to burn that bridge to the ground and to hope and PRAY for the best.

    In is in this sense that I counsel caution. I find it actually somewhat humorous to be accused of hypocracy by someone so presumptious as to ASS-U-ME that I did not seriuously and thouroughly examine and exhaust every possible alternative before coming to that terrifyingly FINAL realization that THIS was my only hope.

    And yes, if I was to survive, and not just survive but to prosper and be producive, I would have to make it work and that would take some effort on my part.

    A-18

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  29. I am all about accountability for what we each say and the effect it may have on others A-18 (you've no doubt heard, perhaps even said the expression: "the children are watching), had I (and everyone else that may read this) been made aware of the fact that you did NOT just "hope" and "pray" that things would work out, that in fact this was a last resort for you and that you'd exhausted every other possibility first (as did I a might add) I would NEVER have been as disrespectful or presumptuous.

    Although I'm not soley at fault, please accept my apology, I meant no disrespect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The children are watching which is why we need to single out the fakes and the Judas goats who lead true transsexuals down the Tee-Gee path toward being marginalized for the rest of their lives.

      NYF

      Delete
  30. Again, I'm just trying to clarify here MKIA and make sure I haven't misinterpreted your originally intended message, is this post:

    http://helpingtranssexuals.wordpress.com/many-years-later-when-the-light-dawns/

    Perhaps also relevant and maybe even this one:

    http://helpingtranssexuals.wordpress.com/denial/

    To what you were trying to express?

    If I'm on the right track now(?) then please accept my apology, it would not have been my intent to disrupt that message, and I'd like very much to discuss that with you privately if you'd like (or need) to.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I have read both these posts by someone claiming to have transitoned in their 20's. Based on the dates of some of the very few comments, this individual may not be much past their 30's and in that estimation, I believe that I am being generous.

    Perhaps you may have read the sentiment in these words differently, but I hear the words of someone that did not succeed in leaving their past behind. Perhaps given more time this will change. And then again, perhaps not.

    A-18

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  32. I really love reading the scribblings of people who feel the need and the duty to pass judgement on the legitimacy of others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it were never in doubt, one's 'legitimacy' would never be in question to begin with.

      Delete
  33. @Anon (2:26AM): I feel NO, " need and the duty to pass judgement on the legitimacy of others". However, I DO reserve the right to differ with ideas pro-offered by those who failed to attain the goals that others have succeeded in attaining.

    The overall theme of this entire blog, (Helping Transsexuals), is "This is how I cope with my own failure, and continue to love and accept myself".

    Consider these statements which obviously represent the genuine heartfelt beliefs of the author.

    "Stealth refers to being there but not being know-of, such as to creep by quietly, or fly below someone else’s ability to detect you on radar.

    In the TS world, “stealth” means to move through your life, through other people’s life, without their knowledge that you’re TS. It’s something common for many TSs to think about."
    "But, I believe, in reality it doesn’t exist. Not really. Not as per above. The idea that someone can go through life that successfully transitioned, at this stage of medical science, is evidence of a problem with denial, wishful-thinking gone extreme." ~(Helping Transsexuals)

    "It’s a painful way to live, but at this stage of medical science, with our cultures in this stage of development, because of this brain/body intersex condition, it’s the life we have."

    "It’s unpleasant. I find it very hard, painful, difficult. But I can endure and work with it, and achieve personal growth and joys I’d never thought possible before." ~(Helping Transsexuals)

    "“Why? What’s the point of this? We live a life that is soooo painful. We can’ t stand ourselves. We can’t ever fix it. We have to live like this… Why? We live, we’re in pain until we die… Why?”

    "Many of us have asked that question. But I can’t answer it that way. I just don’t have an answer. But I’ve pondered that, myself, for so long." ~(Helping Transsexuals)

    I simply disagree with these ideas and thoughts. This is not the reality that must exist for everyone, just because it exists for the author of this blog.

    There are many men and women living on this planet that have succeeded in overcoming their transexxualism. Some have chosen to come forward and offer their thoughts and insights on this and other blogs. Most of us have chosen to leave it all behind.

    A-18

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    Replies
    1. "There are many men and women living on this planet that have succeeded in overcoming their transexxualism." right like a cold or cancer got it.

      Delete
    2. I am happy for you Anon(1:49). Your lack of empathy and comprehension is only exceeded by your cynicism. I hope your cold gets better and that you are sucessfully treated for your cancer.

      On the other hand, maybe not. I hope your cold worsens and the cancer kills you.

      There is that better? Now you can play the poor victimized loser and brand me the hateful bigot.

      ROFLMAO

      Delete
    3. @A-18.... The fact that you feel compelled to be a part of this conversation is testimony to the fact that you did NOT "leave it all behind". It seems to me that SRS cures nothing, because there are so many who even decades after supposedly undergoing SRS, are obviously still very much obsessed with transsexualism and even transgenderism.

      These blogs help nobody. Instead of facts, they offer the writer's opinion while at the same time displaying a good deal of regret on the part of the writer. But still it does set a good example for those who are considering transition, because if someone can still be this obsessed decades after receiving "the cure", then maybe it isn't a cure at all. Maybe transsexualism really is transvestism taken to the next level.

      Delete
    4. Anon(2:21): best comment on here.

      Delete
  34. Perhaps that is YOUR interpretation of it's overall "theme" A-18 but I don't read it that way. I wonder if you paid attention to this part?:

    Me, now, after decades.  After so many times when I thought problems may be insurmountable.   What am I?  What am I doing?  Who am I?  How has life been?
    I find myself doing something, like driving through the country, listening to soft music, and I feel…so different from the way I felt much earlier in my life.  I’m simply not my goal, as my goal was totality, to be actual, real, even chromosomally natal.  But I’m so much closer.  Not yet me as I’d hoped, but so much more me than I ever actually drempt.   I feel relatively knowledgeable about myself, who and what I am, how I fit into society, and also one with the hills, the earth, the sky, and the cosmos.  Whatever I am, I’m human—a thinking, working, contributing human—who can contemplate myself and the cosmos.  I’m part of it all, somehow.
    I don’t think anyone can know yet about most of the nature of the cosmos, but whatever it is, I’m part of it, and it’s beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  35. A-18, I'm just curious, would I be correct if I assumed what you were actually trying to say is that many men and women manage to overcome to a great (and satisfactory) extent, the effects that being born transsexual can/did have on their life? Despite the fact that they will never truly be able to change how they were born?

    Anon 2:21,
    THAT I cannot stand for. I don't know if you yourself are a transvestite who knows his penis is not going anywhere and is searching for a way to validate himself, or if you are one of the "rad-fems" that trolls blogs such as this looking to belittle and degrade people they deem to be "men" in an effort to appease themselves over their own self-perceived hardships?

    I do not care which it is, if you belittle girls born into the worst horror and trauma a little girl could ever know, the you are bellow the worst peice of filth imaginable on this planet, and if you continue to do so, I will make it my mission to teach you humility as only some who has had it harder the YOU could even imagine is capable of doing.

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  36. ".... The fact that you feel compelled to be a part of this conversation is testimony to the fact that you did NOT "leave it all behind". ~A-18

    Is it? You are cerainly welcome to your false, biased and self affirming assumptions. However. Might I suggest that perhaps what I offer, are the ruminations of a disinterested observer. Perhaps SRS was a mistake for you and you find yourself still on the "outside". You remain "other than", perhaps as a result of some of those poor decisions made in your past.

    My point is that while all of us made mistakes some, perhaps more than others, why must it follow that none of us have been able to overcome those errors in judgement, making adjustments that allowed us to be free from remaining 'forever trans'?

    What you describe as those who have taken "transvestism taken to the next level", is in fact that population of TG's that have bought into the whole LGBT/WPATH/GLAAD, "spectrum" mythology, IE: the TG lifestyle/Cult. Those are IMHO are the ones that are those to whom this post was addressed.

    A-18

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  37. You protest far too much!

    See how quickly you jump to trying desperately to distance yourselves from TG and LGBT. If your were truly so different from them, then there would be no need for that, since the difference would be obvious! Instead you frame everything as yourselves vs. TG/LGBT. That speaks volumes about your mindset!

    And because I point out your fallacy, you quickly assume that I must be either a TG or a radfem myself. Once again your own assumptions betray your limited mindset.

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but the majority of people on this planet are neither TG, radfem, nor insane men who like pink frilly things and assume that this somehow makes them women.

    ReplyDelete
  38. That's ok, I suspect I know who you are now, and at no point did I try to "distance" myself from anyone at all, I simply took offense at your assertion that TS born girls are the same as transvestites.

    I made the assessment of who I thought you MIGHT be because ( IMO) no-one who's lived through what I have would ever suggest themselves to be an extreme version of a commonly known fetish.

    If you are who I think you are though, you can be forgiven for being screwed up I understand.

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  39. I tend to agree with Renee that this anon(4:50/2:21) is just one of those pitiful, angry wanna-be rad-phlems, who much like the tranny cult is just one of a bunch of angry, unhappy, sexually frustrated losers attempting to drag others down to their miserable level of existence.

    ReplyDelete
  40. No, I suspect Anon is someone with an issue she could not overcome and that probably effects her life dramatically (partly because she let's it).

    Is that is who she is, that must bs difficult and I am not here to make hers or anyone else's life harder. (and I would hope that maybe she might consider how the things she says and dose might make the lives of others harder also, but I doubt it, pain blinds a person)

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  41. I love a watching a good cat fight. Especially between DOGs (people with Delusions of Grandeur)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is entertaining isn't it?


      NYF

      Delete
  42. Indeed. Some people just love to argue, while others get off on the "drama".

    Losers, either way, full of snide remrks and nothing of any value to contribute.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Sometimes Anon 12:12 the most valuable contribution is knowing when to not comment.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Aaaah. So comes now the censor, passing judgement. How tranny of you.

    ReplyDelete
  45. "AnonymousDecember 30, 2012 6:00 PM

    I tend to agree with Renee that this anon(4:50/2:21) is just one of those pitiful, angry wanna-be rad-phlems, who much like the tranny cult is just one of a bunch of angry, unhappy, sexually frustrated losers attempting to drag others down to their miserable level of existence.


    ReneeDecember 30, 2012 6:34 PM

    No, I suspect Anon is someone with an issue she could not overcome and that probably effects her life dramatically (partly because she let's it).

    Is that is who she is, that must bs difficult and I am not here to make hers or anyone else's life harder. (and I would hope that maybe she might consider how the things she says and dose might make the lives of others harder also, but I doubt it, pain blinds a person)"

    MzEllaEsAsi following up MzNotesFromDuhTside. Perfect example of merging minds. This crap is getting old.

    ReplyDelete
  46. It seems that the newest TS narrative is to dis any TG association. At what point does one leave all this shit behind and just be and live as a woman? Maybe it's time for a good wipe with a TP narrative.

    Must say after wandering here I have to wonder if it is possible to move on, or does the TS past as a boy forever haunt? Seems like a life of constantly trying to prove one is indeed women. Sorry it just seems like such a sad life.

    Teri

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  47. You hit the nail squarely on the head, Teri. For some, leaving their boyhood and TG-hood behind seems an impossible task. I suspect that after a taste of being a small fish in a big pond (a woman among women), they opt to think of themselves as a big fish in a small pond (a type 6, super duper transsexual among the lowly TeeGees). This is what happens when a man cuts his dick and balls off and then realizes years later that he fucked up because he's left being an old bat rather than an old man.

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    Replies
    1. Having been personally, physically abused by multiple supposed "transwomen" with strong ties to the TG community. I can say with complete confidence and no shadow of doubt what so ever, that some people are lying to themselves. They are NOT in fact women, and behave exactly like what they are MEN. On the flip side of this I can say with certainty that some people are in fact suffering from genuine dysphoria and these people act like women, with or without the drugs, surgery etc... You're all completely foolish when you make assumptions about these things. It's obvious not one of you has any actual experience with these people or you'd be singing a different tune entirely. All you're capable of seeing are shallow political arguments, and you use words like "narrative" as if they have any meaning. The fact is, you don't know what you're talking about, and it shows.

      Delete