Sunday, December 2, 2012

Forbidden Fruit

In all the faiths which spring from the loins of Abraham, there is a story of the fall of man. A sad tale in which the divine had given to his children a world of wonder and joy! A world without pain or suffering. A world which was theirs to do with as they wanted, as long as Adam and Eve, and one would assume, their progeny did not consume the one and only fruit forbidden to them. Why the divine created such a thing or why she placed it there... Well who knows the minds of the gods!

Well as we all know, Satan convinced first Eve then though her, Adam to take a bite... After all this was paradise and what harm could come from such a little thing? Course what is done cannot be undone, and so our hapless mythical forefather and mother were chastised by the divine and sent packing out into the cold cold world where they would have to find their way midst the stones and rocks!

In the land of Blog-O-Stan there is also a forbidden fruit! This one thing tiny little thing which is so utterly terrible, that to simply cast ones eyes upon it has been known to have caused great spells of apoplexy and even the vapors!

What pray tell is this horror of horrors found midst the wonderful and happy land of the gender variant?  Are you sure you really want to know campers? You know, that as it was with our hapless mythical fore fathers and mothers... what is known cannot be unknown! You still want to know eh? Better sit down then campers and hold onto your pretty pink frocks cause Miz Know It All, (heretofore known as Satan) is gonna tell ya!

This horror of horrors is the (thankfully damned few) feckless creatures known as ... ~Transsexuals~ ! Yes! Those pain in the ass, think they are female and male despite what is twixt their legs so they gotta cut off what God give em whores! Those ungrateful so and so's who cannot for the life of them see how they fit so lovely into the wonderful spectrum of gender expression! Those rude bastards, having been born with cocks like everyone else in Gender-Ville, yet who would callowly renounce their membership in the divine LGBT! Those Heretics who even go so far as to mutilate their God given bodies, and in the doing loose forever the utter joy of sticking their precious dicks into something warm and wet! All this so they, vile evil that they are, can trick some poor unsuspecting straight man into having sex with em!?! Woe unto us! For these sad creatures, as crazy as bat shitas they might be for thinking themselves different, are still our kin! So we must from all the goodness in our hearts find ways to bring them to the light! We must find ways no matter how much it may hurt them, to make them see how foolish are their doings, and how they were, are, and how no matter what always will be simply crossdressers like us who got really really really carried away! For happiness will certainly be theirs if they can only find it within themselves to whip off their wigs was we all do, and proclaim loudly to the world that they are (or were before their mutilation) really men... If we can only have the patience  and love to bring them under of our wide umbrella of love, their pointless sacrifice of flesh and blood and tears will not have been in vain! Why just by their proud and noble example once they are known, the legions of would-of-could-of's-if-only will be emboldened too to cast off their hated male raiment, and take up the sparkly and revealing frocks of joy!

No Campers... No... Please! Relax! Miz Know It All has not suddenly taken leave of her senses! She simply though that as it was indeed a Sunday, her little biblical analogy might be... ahem... (amen?) entertaining! I mean, Hyperbole aside. There really is one, and it seems ONLY one forbidden narrative in the great spectrum of umbrella land! That being the obviously hateful and homophobic all inclusive white bread'sexual/physical/mental/spiritual two sex binary aspiration! Why one can and will be welcomed with open arms into the wonderful T community of gender expression even if one ID's as an adult baby girl, ne. 60 year old bald man! It matters not what your kink, shame or discomfort may be, all are welcome if one but embrasses their inner and outer queerness! Why look how simple it is to become a "trans-"man simply by binding ones hated breasts and cutting off ones hair! Periods? Meh! Stuff another tampon in there cause who has to know! Erections scaring the kiddies? That's what the frilly petticoats you long for hide! Cause out here in the land of Glee, it is the donning of those pretty pretty frocks and rubber cocks that is all it takes to "express" ones true self! Here in the land where the glitter bombs grow, one can indeed be a trans man, then a trans woman and then a trans man again all in the space of a hour if one feels that is who they "truly" are... For it's all about their gender queerness you see and nothing more... All of it expressed into being by these worldly trappings which "the other sex" uses to provide sexual clues and often cause arousal to the other sex is what truly makes one a man or a woman... doesn't it? Yes by God it does here under the loving laws of Gender-Ville! A grand and wonderful place were we break those mean old suffocating paradigms of a bigoted binary sex by substituting what seems a pretty well defined and rather rigid set of gender clues... but here is the good part! In Gender-Ville, they are worn by... THE OTHER SEX! Wait I think I meant THE OTHER GENDER! Whew... close one there!

Sadly, this means that despite our expansive love for those... shudder to say it, Transsexuals,  there is indeed no room in the inn for those few deluded folks as long as they just want to get surgery, fix documents and go forth into the straight world! Those pretty pretty folk who for reasons that elude us, just don't get it how honored they should be when they are outed to the world by their brothers and sisters of the frock! Thankfully if they haven't the balls to do it, then there are legions of others of a much better mind who are more than happy to do it for em!

Still, Why, might you ask? Why do these heretics want to pass on the utter joys of telling everyone they might encounter in their lives that they too are really "Trans?" Why should they give up so much and in the doing it seems, throw their "Trans" brethren under the bus, by their not being out there as the shining examples of what "Trans" really is? Why is it they cannot see all the great and beautiful things that the "Trans Activists" have done for them too by bravely creating a third sex and in including them too? So what if they want to love and be loved by men... No problem! With a membership in the LGBT and Marriage Equality they can be just as gay as they want! ( Yeah I know! Yuck... Why even the idea of sucking a dick? How gross!) Yet they still protest to us! They say that they are all for Marriage Equality but... even if they do want to have a hard dick in em (no matter how repulsive the idea is to the rest of us in Genderville,) they are not gay men, they insist that because they are "simply" women and not "trans" and that as most women do, they love men cause they are (extremely deluded I know!) straight! And get this... they want the rest of the world to think that same bit of homo-trans-phobic rubbish!

Why is it that cannot learn from the examples of these proud trans-women-activists-lesbians who have a... what did they call it again, oh yes, a lady stick just-a-itching to break some of that good old cotton ceiling, just like they were doing as men with the little woman for all those years before they figured out they were lesbian! Yummm yumm!

Well! Thankfully there are many many hard working souls out there who have these sad if pretty trans-gendered creatures best interests in mind even if they don't... So from me to you here is a MKIA tip of the hat to all of our hard working out you in a split second Gender Missionaries from the Nutmeg to the Beaver states who day in and day out are out preaching to the unwashed with their constant education and outreach! Cause as we all know! In the proud "inclusive" New Speak of Gender-Ville if the lie is said often enough to enough people it becomes the truth! So all hail sex = gender = trans = sex!


1 comment:

  1. Love this! You make me laugh and you make me cry.