Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Too much to ask...

Susan had married him when she was in her early twenties Funny, looking back now it seems to her she was so terribly young, little more than a mere babe in the woods with no business doing such a silly thing as marrying a man! Yet at the time it felt to her that she was an ancient, wise and worldly old sage full of the knowledge of all things. She wanted to reach out and shake her younger-self, to warn her and to say she was a fool but the memories never wavered and the reality that was now her's never changed

They'd had met at a coffee shop. She standing behind him in line waiting for her turn. He  had gotten his coffee and being young, male, brash and of course, in a complete rush had turned and run smack into her, spilling some of his oh so precious double shot espresso onto her skirt... What? Who? He thought! How dare someone cause him to spill his coffee! He was just about to give her the same verbal tongue lashing he gave anyone who dared to get in to HIS way when he found his gaze traveling from her shapely legs up past the growing brown stain on her skirt to her lovely breasts and her fresh young face...

When their eyes locked... his mouth still hanging agape with words that would forever go unsaid,  he knew in his heart of hearts that he was smitten and that he would have this woman as his wife! And so it was... The man in a rush and the woman with coffee on her skirt became he lovely young couple and they were were married five years later... Oh, the marriage might have happened even earlier, he had often asked but there were the usually fights to get past as well as the struggle of school and besides he really did want to finish with his training before marriage so she had quit school so she could work to support them both...

But the day came and it was quite the day indeed for not only was she to become his wife, she was also pregnant with their first child!

She was so in love

Life felt blessed for the both of them, though it was often a struggle. So little income and so many expenses but Susan came from a long line of strong women and she soldiered on! Working outside the home and in, with a child on first one hip and then later a second child on the other, she stood behind and beside her man as they built a life together...

She was so in love

Often she would find herself waking a few moments before him and the children, and there in the dark laying against him, her head cradled on his strong chest, feeling it rise and sink with his slow breathing... The musky smell of him rising from the bed clothes and the pressure of him pressing against her made her swoon all over again...

She was so deeply in love

Time went on as time is want to do...Their children grew and blossomed as the family moved upwardly. Passing from house to house, their twenties became their thirties and their thirties became their forties and still they were still considered by one and all to be the perfect couple... True they were no longer the pretty but naive children who married oh so long ago... It their place they had become that lightly greyed couple which Madison Ave. loves to use as the image of stability and security. A couple well on their way towards a golden anniversary when their friends, their children and their as of yet unborn grandchildren would gather round them in their home to wish them well for a long and happy life.

She was full of love

Alas things were not as blissful between them as they may have seemed outwardly. John, for that was his name, had been troubled these past few years... He had become sullen and withdrawn from her. Their couplings becomeing less and less frequent as as his intrest in "playing" rather than love making grew... She had never really liked "play" John was a  mans man after all and nothing about him was the least feminine! It was in part why she had been so attracted to him and it was the way she had wanted it... but still... she had been willing to go along with him and his "play." After all, she loved him with all her heart... So if he wanted to "play" these silly little sexual games now and again and it made him so happy, what harm could there be in it?

She knew love

Oh for certain this "play" did nothing for her, It seemed farcical if not downright silly, this desire to dress up and prance around the house in ill fitting womans clothing but he always was so excited by it and the lovemaking that followed, rare though it had become, was always lusty, hard and fulfilling so she went along with him for the most part. She even bought clothes for him for his birthday and Christmas just to see his face light up as it had once lighted up when he looked at her.

She remembered love

After all, it could be worse, she knew and knew all to well! He could be impotent as so many of his compatriots were, he could have become a cheating bastard and unfaithful to her like some of her friends husbands had. Or she could have found herself in the dark place some of the other wives had come to when their husbands over the years pulled them into some of their really weird sexual peccadilloes!

She was warm with love

Then came that day. That horrible horrible day when he "Confessed!" Oh she knew something was up...This was not the first time they had had a go round about his "play." His "play" had ebbed and surged as the years went by but each time it  returned it returned just a little stronger. He would become more and more emboldened with that and he had said he wanted to take it from their bedroom into the real world which she had resisted with all her might! Limit reached, she would threaten to leave him, he would purge his play clothes, swearing to her and all that was holy to walk the straight and narrow. For a time things would get back to being normal and her heart would grow for him again. But from experience she knew it wouldn't be long before he would start to wheedle at her, she knew she would relent and the cycle would start afresh. Still...

She was in love

But this day was not to be like their other go rounds... John began it by crying! Oh, he'd seemed odd and distant for months now... hiding his soiled play clothes from her. Coming in from work, feinting a head ache and going to the guest bedroom where he would log into the computer and stay on line long after she had gone to bed alone... So she was expecting the usual  was coming about his all consuming "play" and had her lions girded for that fight when John switched things and started by saying that he was a woman inside! That all they had loved and lived for the past three decades as a lie...

She was a woman numb with love

She felt the room spin and the ground beneath her feet shifted threatening to swallow her up whole... The words coming out of his mouth didn't register! This was her John, the father to her children, the man she had bedded all her life. How can he be standing here before her saying he was a woman? No this is just not possible! He is a man, he's her man! He was a mans man. A pillar of the community! A deacon of their church! A man to be reckoned with!

She was confused by love.

She wanted to scream NO NO NO! but her throat filled with sand and no words came out. Only a cascade of tears. Tears of loss of frustration and anger. He looked at her, the woman of his dreams. The woman who had given herself to him as his wife and mistaking her silence for agreement he bulled on! Some things never changed! The head strong brash young man was still there inside this old grey beard, still rushing head on and not looking where he was going. He started to explain to her how he was transgendered... that he had a feminine side that he needed to express. That it was all about his gender expression and that he needed to be a woman...

She felt her love dying

She shook with emotion, still no words came out... She was filled with more anger, hurt, shock and rage than she had ever known existed but none of it could get past her mute vocal cords... Seeing nothing but assent in her contiuned silence he blustered on... It will be great he said! It will be like my girl friends on line and their wives! Nothing will change, nothing will be different! I will still be your husband and the father to our children, only I'll betheir daddy as their other mommy! We will be a lesbian couple! We can shop together! It will be wonderful!

She felt no love at all

The image of him wearing that way too frilly outfit she'd gotten him in a weak moment came rushing back to her... Him, all tall gangly, stretching that sad little dress in directions no dress was ever mean to be stretched! THIS was what he was proposing?  He wanted to take this sexual embarrassment from their bedroom out into the world and he wanted to have her standing there at his side as he did it? What of their families? Their friends? Their neighbors? What would they think of him, of her of them? Oh my God! Their children! Did he think for one moment that he was going to drag them into this too? Over her dead body! They had a father! Where they suppose to know that he had this perversion? that he wanted to play dress up and go round the town pretending to be a woman? Did he think that he was in anyway womanly?

Her love was bleeding

He was her husband! Her lover, her friend.... what was to become of them? Did he think she would still desire him this way? This man she had loved, who's children she had born who was this very moment turning his back on them, on her, on everyone! The selfish bastard! The memory of their meeting came to her and in that moment she saw only that he had been a selfish and rude jerk, and wondered why she had given him the time of day?

Her love grew cold

At last she found voice,... it was the thought of all those years, of her children and of her loved ones and her dying love for him that broke through the shock and disgust she was feeling... A wounded woman her voice shrill as all these thoughts tried to pour out at once No, No, No! A thousand times no! She was not going to have this! He was breaking their vows. The vows that he had made to her before the world and their god. He was ripping her heart out and stomping on it for this? All their dreams were dust for this? Their lives had been a lie for this? She so wanted the man she had married to hold her, to make this horrible person standing before her in his body go away but it didn't happen... Her eyes were red from the tears, her thoughts a jumble her heart breaking... She had to not be here now! She had to be away! She turned from him. His protests falling on deaf ears... she had to get away, away... it was her only thought. away... She turned and ran into their bedroom slammed the door with all her might...

She had no love

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Sleight of Hand

Morning my Dears!
Oh I am so sorry to have been away from you for so long but Miz Know-It-All not only has had much on her mind but she also has one of those pesky things... Now what do you call them again? Oh Yes! A life! Anyway Dear Ones busy or not, you are never far from Miz Know-It-All's thoughts and so it seems only fair that I share with you my most recent! 

You see Miz Know-It-All has become acutely aware of something in Blog-O Stan that the Magicians refer to as "slight of hand!" That being the skilled art to misdirect the viewers gaze away from a thing that the Magician does not want them to see... So while the ball that was in the glass is merely secreted into the palm as the Magician holds up a now empty glass. The effect to the viewer is that the ball suddenly VANISHED into thin air! Ohhhh Neat O' Now while Miz Know-It-All is quite delighted to watch a skilled Magician practice his art. She is far less thrilled to watch others use this same art to force their way upon others for purely selfish needs!

Such as the many many MANY reasons given for why one can claim that they so need to change their "gender" but they simply cannot get a sex change! Well I guess foremost on that one would be most obvious reason and that being, one is simply having a mental break down and one does not need a sex change! I for one would be heart broken if my Dear Lars suddenly went off the deep end and decided he had to be girl cause after all, he is sooo good at being a boy! But you see, if I were to continue with this line then I too will be guilty of misdirection because this is not about the obvious reasoning Dears! This is about the far more subtle reasonings being given to this topic to misdirect a conversation away from the obvious!

That there are no reasons!

Now Miz Know-It-All will always give credit where credit is due and she would like to thank is0this0me for putting this bug in two parts into her ear.  

The first and the foremost, is the reason always given for folks claiming to be transsexuals who are not at all in favor of surgery and that is it is a Medical Impossibility!  That if the person is question were to undergo this highly risky and super dangerous procedure as they describe it, that after hours and hours of diligent work by the surgeon and after his dire warnings the patient of the peril. He would wind up having to emerge from the operating theater. Sweaty and grim with that terribly serious doctor look upon his face to say "I did all he could but patient has expired!" Oh my that does sound dire does it not!

 Miz Know-It-All is a noted humanitarian and the last thing she would ever want are hoards of folks dying needlessly on operating room tables! Ahh but remember this is about misdirection is it not? So, what is0this0me dared to ask was... Ok so if there is this great Medical Impossibility...what exactly is the Medical Impossibility that would prevent surgery! Oppise... Talk about your terribly crass questions! Why that's right on par with paying attention to the Magician and saying "uhhh hey Baldo the Magnificent! The ball didn't go anywhere! It's there in your right hand!" Oh my how that does spoil the illusion does it not! 

True to form with a spoiled illusion, nary a soul has yet offered up a reason why to is0this0me's question! And Dear Ones, I fear there isn't any such reason for the great Medical Impossibility and I am not holding my breath to hear of one either! Because this is but another subtle form of misdirection designed to make the questioner seem a monster of the first order just for asking!

This form of misdirection by the way is called "front loading" and it is a favorite of the nay sayers You see by saying; "So, You want to kill people by making them die needlessly on the operating room table?" No matter how youe answer, you have already been painted as a MONSTER~! A first class horrible person who should be shunned and left to die in the wilderness!

Well Dears... if you can think of a Medical Impossibility or you know someone who actually died on the table or you know someone with a Medical Impossibility that will with all certainly prevent them from having surgery the please let me know! For there is one that is key to Miz Know-It-All and that is fair play and she is not above eating crow!

Now about that second form of misdirection and this one is more complicated.... It's the finances! While Miz Know-It-All would be the first to admit this procedure has become frightfully and she fears needlessly expensive... She does question the second assertion always given that the money simply cannot be had!

Another thing you can never say about Miz Know-It-All is that she is afraid to tread where angels fear to go and this one is THE third rail of this discussion and with good reason! This IS an expensive proposition, Few have insurance and fewer still have it that will pay bumkis, and fewer still have the means to whip out  a check book and pay ten to twenty thousand dollars for a surgery no matter how much they need it!

But like the above does this assertion really hold water? I fear not Dear Readers! True... far too many who set foot to the path jump first and ask how second which is not a good thing when one has jumped onto the express elevator to the minimum wage basment and below! But getting the money can still be done! Work can be had if one is willing to ork no matter how nasty, and expenses can always be trimmed! Miz Know-It-All was not always well to do Dear Ones... She has been as poor as a church mouse more than once in her life and she is not so bold as to say it will never happen again!

But if there is a will there will always be a way! If one owns a car with a payment... Sell  the darn thing, buy a clunker or take public transportation and pocket the difference! The same with a house! Sell the thing and get a cheap ass apartment!

But lets stay with the basics everyone can do shall we?
If one gets a cup of coffee on the way to work every day... That's at least a dollar... times days worked that comes out to $260.00 dollars a year... 
Alone that is not going to buy surgery but wait... 
Lunch out twice a week and lets be moderate and say only a burgers and fries at five dollars a pop. That's $520.00 dollars in a year! 
Going out to eat twice a month in the evening at twenty dollars is another $520.00 a year! 
Just this alone equals $1,300.00 dollars. Over three years time frame, that comes to $3,900.00, Just for eating peanut butter and jelly and getting your coffee at home you can save $3,900.00! 

Lets go further shall we? Do you have a moderate cell service of at least $25.00 a month? That comes to $300.00 a year. Cable TV at $40.00 a month equals 480.00 a year. Cut them both and together you have another $780.00 a year or 2,340 in three years time!

So just for cutting out the minimum of entertainment alone in three years time you have over half the cost of surgery! Shall I go on? Why sure Miz Know-It-All! 

An apartment rent of $800.00 a month... get yourself a roomie and it goes to $400.00 a month which adds up to another $4,800.00 a year or in three. $14,400.00... All together you are now up to $20,0640.00 dollars which is enough to get you a top rated surgery anywhere! 

Oh but are we done yet? Nooooo,,, Let's stop cutting and add in additional income shall we? What about a second job! Oh my! Shall we say 24 hours a week clerking at Seven Eleven for a whole $9.00 and hour. Thats pre tax  about $216.00 or after tax roughly $150,00 a week... You are never going to get rich on this kinda money but in a year still equals another $7,800.00. If you work two such jobs that's another $15,600.00 a year! Times three years, and you now have a total of 46,000.00 dollars or in other words top end FFS!

Wait a second! You mean just by trimming fat, using the free public library for your entertainment and working your damned butt off for three years straight can and will get you both SRS and FFS bought and paid for? Yep!

 Go it one further and depending upon circumstances and what you are willing to work for and what you are willing to cut and you can have em both, either faster or you can get way more services done and still have it bought and paid for in under three years time!  So Miz Know-It-All must ask you Dear Readers... "What is three years of shitty dirty and hard toil against a life time to be spent living fully? "
Nothing Dear Readers! Nothing at all!

So there you have it Dear Ones! The two main canards always given as a misdirection for not being able to have surgery left naked and exposed without a leg to stand on... And speaking of naked! I do believe it is time for my massage!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Up is Down and Black is White and the Word Stood on it's Ear!

Sorry to have been amiss in posting Dear Readers, but I'm afraid that Mis Know-It-All was rather engaged of late in other enterprises! Such as her toying with a certain foolish little twit who has indeed brought her many hours of entertainment and in the end, much to her surprise, a wee bit of enlightenment!

May I be so honored as to share this with you Dear Readers?

First a bit of background. The Twit who's so captivated Miz Know-It-All is that oh so infamous little fop who goes by the online nom de plume(s) of Jay/Jamie/ and Jamiegotagun. A rather talented photographer but sadly, quite the tool and lacking in just about every other way possible An extremely abusive misogynistic and misanthropic pantywaist whom one would have to assume was rather dramatically and severely abused as a child  which caused him to became quite angry that his mother either causing the abuse or she was remiss in not standing up for him to stop it.  Anyway, now grown, well grown in body at least, he has become the sissy extraordinaire! A real Nancy Boy who's transposed all of that anger at his mother to not only to women in general, but specifically, to women with a transsexual past!

Why is that I wonder? What could some woman with a transsexual  history possibly have done to him that made him so bitter he would delight in seeing us burn in hell just for the pleasure of roasting marshmallows on our smoldering corpses! Eh? Who knows, and frankly, who really cares? Because Dear Readers seeing Jamie as an abuser and knowing why is not the enlightenment I spoke of...In fact, Miz Know-It-All is sad to say that Jamie is really not that very different than far too many other men who have or who are in the process of questioning their gender. The only thing that really sets Jamie apart is he is honest about his disgust and anger at women!

No dear ones, where the enlightenment came from was our Dear Little Jamies repeated use of the contraction. T-Girl when refering to himself... Miz Know-It-All was quite puzzled by this word, given that he is clearly male and not a girl, so she inquired with the dear sir as to what the heck he meant by T-Girl! Alas... his only reply was to question Miz Know-It-All's weight and then to say that Mae West (who is quite dead) was pretending to be her... Sigh...I fear Jamie has passed the point where he may no longer be capable of a rational answer! Beavers and Duck! Beavers and Ducks!

So bereft of an answer from the source, Miz-Know-It-All was left to her own devices and after much research, she did indeed come up with the meaning of T-girl!

Well, oddly enough, This simply means the subject is just a man in a dress! Yeah I know! Strange isn't it? Why not just say a man in a dress! or a transvestite, or a cross-dresser or drag queen or gender bender or if you are Jamie, Nancy Boy? Why take the long way round Robins barn with the T and the Girl?

Glad you asked! Let's take dear Jamie for our example! He certainly is not transsexual! God forbid! Jamie, like Virginia Prince before him would sooner see Hell freeze over than let the family jewels, tiny as they are, be removed... Heck he really likes being a guy, he hates women with all his heart, but he also likes to be a guy who plays dress up! Sometimes as a woman and sometimes I hear as a dolphin, but thats just a rumor! hummmm So given that he HATES everything there is about "trans," T in this sense means the subject is anything BUT transsexual! So, "T" equals Not trans!

 But what about the girl part? Well... the boy "parts" to be specific! Boys have a outtie, girls an innie and so no matter how you slice it, Sorry Miz Know-It-All loves her puns, Jamie has an outtie so he is a guy! So  by his calling himself "girl" Like the T before it, means that Jamie is saying not a girl! Girl equals NOT a girl!

I see you sputtering dear readers! T? Girl? T-Girl? Whaaaa? Honey, This Dears is a subtle linguistic twist called front loading! Put something egregiously negative out there and no matter to whom or how it is said, it means the opposite!

Classic Example "When did you stop beating your wife" (thank god Jamie is gay or that would be far too true) If you deny that you beat your wife the supposition is still there that you did... If you say that you never beat your wife, same supposition! If you decry wife beating, same supposition! God forbid you say you actually stopped! You just confirmed the supposition! No matter how you reply the supposition is always there that you dear sir, are a wife beater!

Thus when all those lovely people out there stick these pretty pretty labels on you and say you are a "T girl" this or "trans-woman" that, the unspoken supposition is there bigger than day, that you may be many things, but Dear, what you are not and never will be is a girl or a woman! So the use of T-Girl by dear Jamie simply means Jamie is saying he is neither T nor girl ergo,  he and everyone else out there using this contraction to describe themselves or others is saying THIS ~IS~ A MAN IN A DRESS!

Thus, our moment of enlightenment!

Whew! What a long week it's been betwixt pillar and post on this one! I do believe I'm simply worn to a frazzle! High time to retire to the cabana for a massage a cold compress and a bit of medication! Lars? Mimosa's stat, and please, this time keep em coming!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Monday, June 6, 2011

What She Said!

Morning Dear Ones!
It's Monday! Time for a little bit of humor to lighten the week don't you think?

Female Brain cell found herself inside a male head... it was cold and dark, the wind was whistling and she was totally alone... She cried out, "Is there anyone there?" From way off in the distance she heard a reply... "We're down here!

To celebrate thirty years of marriage, a couple booked a weekend at Pebble Beach. Approaching the third tee, the wife said, "Darling, you have made me the happiest woman in the world. You've shared with me thirty exciting and wonderful years. My only regret is that I could not give you children, but I know it was not your fault. I know at times you thought it was, but it was not. I want you to know how much I adore you, and I want to make a confession. Thirty-two years ago I had a sex change operation. I was a man before we met."
The husband threw a fit! He cursed, threw his driver away, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, tore at his clothes, screamed and ranted, "You liar, you despicable cheat! I thought we were honest with each other. How could you? I trusted you! How could you take advantage of me by playing from the ladies' tees all these years?"