Miz Know It All recently had a bit of a go round in Blog-O-Stan with someone who, after having taken the rather drastic step of having gotten a sex change seemed rather dead set on saying in a rather less than round about way that her reasoning must have been faulty because everything about being a woman for her is all a lie! That no one could ever really possibly succeed at changing their sex, so we should all just give up and admit defeat and accept our less than life... just like her! While I do think this poor soul has been deeply hurt and because of that she was trying to garner some sympathy, cause gosh darn this is really hard and painful! She was getting neither from me and from others as well! I wonder why?
Lets look at that shall we? No really? You think it's hard to do this? Really? Geee! I wonder what other hot breaking news did she could have shared with us? That the sun comes up in the east? That water is all wet, and that playing in traffic causes one to break out in death? Franky Miz Know-It-All is of the opinion that this person really should have thought long and hard about all that long before she set about tearing her life apart and certainly long before having a sex change!
Do you think Miz Know It All terribly harsh for saying this?
Well, as you may have gathered Miz Know It All is not one given to throwing pity parties! Throwing parties in general? Oh My Yes! She loves em and anything, including that it is Tuesday is a great reason to have one! But... for her to sit there and say "awwwwww poor baby? there! there!" Nahhhh!
You see. way, way, w-a-y back when Miz Know It All started her journey she was fortunate enough to find guidance beneath the wings of a few women who, having actually gone the distance many years before her, were back to offer their hard won wisdom to any and all who wanted to know the way! (ironic only in that they were rebuffed for being foolish and stupid by the chorus of nay sayers who swore up and down that it was impossible to do the very thing they had done!)
Anyway! While all of them were, and still are very caring women. Which after all is why they had come back! Nary a one of em ever did the "awww poor baby" thing with me...Oh for sure they were kind to me when I would hit the wall again and again as they told me to get use to it! That it really is a hard world out there, but as soon as I wavered and said I din't think I could, each and every one hit me again and again with the reality of life as a female on this planet. Sorry Sister! It is NOT easy to be a female and if you are starting a day late and a dollar short then it is doubly so! So! if you still want to do this then you are going to have a butt load of work to do and the bar to success is damned high! Thought there at the start they were so kind as to spare me the knowledge that the bar not only is high but that it also gets higher and higher with each and every leap!! And by the way? I flat our refuse, as did they to ever use the word "passing!"This is Yoda Time! It's "do or no do, there is no try!"
Interestingly, I find years later having taken their advice and done the hard and painful work, that I can sum up their years of combined wisdom into a single paragraph! The key to success? The path to living as a woman just as any other woman alive?
Are you ready?
Do you want to know?
I mean do you really want to know?
Are you sure?
Ok! You asked for it!
When you are read as other than a woman, you go home, you cry, then.... well... then? You get your sorry ol' ass up off the sofa or out of the bed, you dry those tears, you go into your bath turn all the lights on and you take a really really hard and long look into the mirror to figure out where it is that YOU, not the world, but YOU missy screwed it up! Then? Why, you fix it of course! And you do what ever it takes to fix it and you do it again, and again, and again, and you keep on doing it until you get it right... Then when you finally have that mastered? Then you move on to the next thing, and the next, and the next!
There it is! The very simple and very real recipe for success in living life as a woman! A recipe by the way that all women, both those born with and without history must practice! Yes that's right... simply being born with a coochie between the thighs does not confer any particular great insights into how to live as a woman among women! So for certain, having lived till now as a man and then your getting a coochie grafted onto your body does even less in the way added insights!! You see, becoming a woman is a learned process and it takes decades to master and that can only happen AFTER you have the right plumbing!
So guess what? Bad news honey! If you find yourself starting the process decades behind the eight ball? Do you really think that sitting there whining on the internet to the choir, or wasting your time in a "we can't" support group talking about how the mean ol' world is transphobic... is ever gonna fix it for you?
Does that sound hard?
Does that sound harsh?
Does that sound like it takes time?
But it is the truth! And the truths about life rarely comes in a pretty pretty feel good packages... Truth is often hard and ugly but it is the truth and if you are willing to do the work to get there... Then there is a world waiting for you that is so far past wonderful that it will take your breath away!
So? there you have it! You too now have the sure fire, works every time recipe for success! Now, do you suck it up and muck on through till it's done, as all the rest of the women do? Or, do you revert back to your learned male privileged thinking and curse the world for not turning on your as it's axis?
Do whatever it takes to live in the real world till you die old and happy!
Or you do you hide in the ghetto licking your wounds till you just die....
Bottom line the choice is yours!