Monday, May 9, 2011

That's soooo Gay!

Hey guess what? It's the day after yesterday!

So tell me, on such an auspicious day, am I the ONLY one to see irony in the "Men in Dresses Brigade wanting to be part of Gay Inc? I mean come on now! Gay? Really now! Quit fooling Ol' Miz Know-It_all and get real! I would have thought about the last thing, and I do mean the very last thing in the world these men would want is to be part of anything Gay! I mean back in their power suit days would any of them have been wiling to get down on their knees to talk to the sausage? You know, like this, Morrff gromoml hughh? Oh sorry dears, I got lost and well Lars seemed so needy... Now! as I was saying... For what? Like fifty some odd years, why hese fellas to even be a hinting that they might want just a peek at another sausage that was not their own was... how do you put it? Fightin'-words! Yep! Real-live-knock-down-drag-out-fightin'-words! Much less would they say they want to... love it... and hug it... and squeeze it... and call it George!  So ya know, I kinda think we can quickly arrive at a conclusion this here point! They certainly ain't gay!

So... Moving on!

What about them being like all Lezzbo n' Stuff? Hey ya know? I might be onto something there! I mean, they all may have hated the idea of doing the Sausage dance but they always got on about liking the little ladies and the little ladies musta liked them. At least a little cause they had their babies! And, well we all know there certainly ain't nothing like some jumping and humping to get the blood-a-moving in the morning as I always say! Well I also have been known to say Oh God Oh God Oh God... and Yes Yes Y-e-s!...but, I digress!

So, from here deep in the Miz Know-It-All patented MiD (men in dresses) duck-blind. Lets take a look shall we? Oh Joy! Here come one now. Don't ya just love to watch as the Men in Dresses go prancing about their day! And yes! As predicted! Look at that would ya! Yep! I think it fair to say, we can say they do indeed seem to prefer Tacos to Sausages!

But But But... Miz Know it all ain't blind little ones! I mean lookie! why,.... uhhh they's all still gots peckers... and in her vast experience as a Woman of the World, why pecker holders, at least those who are not into the holding of other pecker's peckers, well they prefer tacos 100%! They love it so much so, that the Taco industry has become like mega HUGE! Like some freaking multi billion dollar industry HUGE fer Christs sakes! With the best seller, year after year being the watched Taco on Taco supreme, with or without the extra sauce! And listen up little ones! As a Certified Taco owner, Why, Miz Kow-It-All is very well acquainted with the ins and outs of Tacos! In fact Lars, the Pool Boy was just helping her with her with the in's and out's of Tacos this very afternoon! Rright before she came to talk to all of you lovely people!

Sigh! Don't you agree! He is such a good boy he is! So! Anyway, when Miz-Know-It-All says she knows about Tacos,you can trust Miz-Know-It-All! She knows from Tacos... and she knows all about Taco Jumping too! And what she has gotta say on the matter of that Taco Jumping? Well for one thing, it certainly ain't Gay! Tain't Lezzzbo neither!

See, in order for you to be a Lezzzzbo... well... Gather in and come in close here kiddies cause I'm only going to say this once! Miz Know-It-All doesn't want to strain her voice anymore today... Look, Lars needed a lot of coaching earlier cause he was having problems finding the right spot... Oh poor Lars! Anyway, to be a Lezzzzbo... there is this one l-i-t-t-l-e thing! This one t-i-n-y fiddling little thing...One  teensie weensie little Ol' thang.., and that one thang is... You gotta OWN a Taco before you can be a wanting a Taco! At least if-n' you're a Lezzzbo a wanting a Taco that is! Yeah yeah yeah, I know, you want one, you want one, you always wanted one!!! But Sugar, I so hate to break it to you... but, well you see... the good Lord has given you a Sausage and like all the others with Sausages... well, they too want Tacos! Its like nature and it's like totally different! You dig?

So! You see! Blessed with a rapier like mind, Miz Know-It-All has quickly surmised that the typical MiD ain't a Sausage eater... and as he ain't got no Taco of his own, he tain't no Lezzbo neither...  Hummm.... So why on earth would out MiD want so desperately to be an intrinsic part of this heah Gay Inc when that's all about Sausage on Sausage and Taco on Taco thing and, well, he ain't set up for either of them?

Jinkers! Kiddos, Why I do believe we have us a real live mystery!

Oppsie Sorry Guys! Thats about all the time Miz Know-It-All has today but have faith! She is going to be looking into this very perplexing matter further, and when she has the time, she will indeed elucidate more on her findings! But for now? Why I do believe she needs a bit more attention from Lars! After all, all this writing is such hard work and he is so good for relieving her tension!



  1. My sides hurt! I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time!

  2. Now THIS is something I can sink my teeth into.