Saturday, May 28, 2011

Taint My Problem!

Hello Campers!
Miz Know-It-All, as has been her bent of late, was wandering one of the many many interesting side roads of Blog-O-Stan when she stumbled upon someone who actually made sense! I know! Yes  this girl actually made sense! Dear One's, trust me! I feel your astonishment! Came as quite the shock to yours truly too! Oh but wait it, gets even better! No really it does! Not only did this person make sense in her erudite  post, but when it came  round to the usual "oh, me too! me too!" comments? Well hush my mouth if this girl just didn't keep right on making sense! I tell you what folks, if she continues on that tack, refeshing as it may be, I'm betting she gonna get her pretty little butt kicked right outta Blog-O-Stan! After all the cardinal rule of Blog-O-Stan and it's many principalities, as Miz Know-It-All had it "splained" to her was that nothing in Blog-O-Stan has to make the least bit of sense and NONE of it is the least bit funny! Come on Darlings stifle the laughs, Come on! This is serious! No really, oh shoot... I can't take it any more! Oh dear, I can't stop laughing, Sorry! Give me a moment...Oh... wow I needed a good laugh! How about y'all?

So! Who was it out there actually made sense and what did she say? Sorry! I know you are dying to know but you're just gonna have to wait Dear Ones cause Miz Know-It-All in her vast wisdom has something else way way more important to discuss first! That is; Miz Know-It-All has just learned that you must address folks as to whom they "identify" as and you have to do it each and every time you interact with them! Yes Dear Ones, You, yes you, my poor Dear Readers are gonna have to stop and ask each and every person who crosses you path from now on as to what they feel like at this very moment and you also have to know exactly how it is they wish to be addressed! That is unless you too want to be a labeled like Miz Know-It-All was as a xenophobic elitist essentialist with passing and parking privialedges! Who knows?  I mean to you they may look like a dumpy old balding attorney in a bad wig when they really feel rather more like a nice fried fruit pie today, instead of being a dumpy old balding attorney in a bad wig! Whats more, they may harbor an intense desire to be addressed as Your Most Grand Exalted Poohbah and it's your moral, ethical social responsibility to do this for them!

But you know? While I am entertaining this thought? I'm really not quite sure what pronouns one would use to follow up on that? Zither perhaps? Hither, Shazam? You got me this time Sweeties! What do you think? Anyway what brought this to my attention, was attached to the post and comments that actually made sense.. was one that was, as is the rule in Blog-O-Stan made no sense at all. This comment was written oddly enough by an afore mentioned dumpy old balding attorney in a bad wig! What a coincidence!
Anyway this dumpy old balding attorney in a bad wig made made it abundantly clear that in all hizer graciousness zindo has drawn out a time line for when zitsot is going to be a woman rather than be a fruit pie, and every last one of these poor people in hizono'z life has exactly two years to, and I quote "get with the program!" Yep! If in two years time, they have not taken their crazy pills like good boys and girls and so, see hizon as a female trans-Hoo-man and call hertid Ma'am no matter what zizzor looks like. Well! thizer is going to up and write them out of hothir's life! No Really! zinther has give em two years and that's that! After that they have their walking papers! I tell you what! Reading that bout made me burst out crying right on the spot, cause you can so feel the love can't ya?! I know I certainly could!

No Dear Ones' Don't look that way! Miz Know-It-All is just teasing you! She has not lost her marbles nor is she taking crazy pills and she has not the least bit of intention of ever addressing anyone other than what the seem to be! If they seem to her to be female then they will be addressed as female and if they seem to her to be male then they will be addressed as men! I mean how pray tell, short of actually ask each person in her life what they want to be or doing a pants check, is Miz Know-It-All supposta ascertain who is who? Well I tell you how! She is gonna use the same old rules we humans have been using since we came down from the trees to eat a few grub worms and have a nice game of cribbage! Boys are boys and girls are girls and it really taint hard to figure out which is which! Least ways taint hard to figure out here in the real world and frankly who gives a tinkers damn what the rules are over in Blog-O-Stan cause soon as you figure em out it's in the contract they have to change em!

Bottom line sweeties... as a sage sister once told Miz Know-It-All  way way back when she was spending her time paying dues twixt a rock and a hard place, It's up to you to figure out why you are being read and then... it's up to YOU to fix it! So my Blog-O-Stan friends, if you can't cut the mustard as boys or girls, then it's your problem and if you don't want to deal with it why should I?

Now toddle off little ones cause I do believe it's way past cocktail time! Lars? Doubles today please! Oh before you go... here's that link to the blog that made sense as promised!

Tah

5 comments:

  1. Teagan makes a lot of sense. But then again, that's why I tell her she's always right. I suppose that makes me a "me, too!" commenter. Such is my lot to be able to agree with someone who is eminently agreeable.

    Heck, I even agree with you on this here post.

    xoxo

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  2. Why thank you Tasha. Miz Know-It-All does pride herself on trying ever so hard to make at least a modicum of sense now and again too!

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  3. You know what they say about blind squirrels finding nuts... ;)

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  4. Oh Lord Child you do tempt a body with a line like that! But just for once, I am going to to take the high road and leave the dirty minds to go where Miz Know-It-All dares not!

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  5. wow, I walked right into that one.

    *facepalm*

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