Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Miracle of Modern Science!

Disclaimer... Miz Know-It-All realizes some of her readers may be a little sensitive to some of the more intimate nature of human bodies, so she's giving fair warning that to some, the below example of a Miracle of Science is perhaps a little graphic for their tastes, but she trusts as you are all adults you are as knowledgeable of such things as is she! If not then you may wish to leave now.

Wow!
Is Miz Know-It-All really has been out of the loop! Whats more, she is not at all ashamed to admit it! Why she was still under the mistaken assumption that if one was not equipped with a Va Jay Jay at birth and one should have been equipped with such a thing as a Va Jay Jay at birth then one would need to undergo costly and rather uncomfortable surgery if one was to get one! Not any more my lovelies! Now, through the Amazing Miracle of Science, such a barbaric practice is a thing of the past! Rendered totally and utterly obsolete by Science! For the paltry and insignificant sum of a Hundred Pounds, you too can be the proud owner of your very own Va Jay Jay! Really! I know! Amazing isn't it? And as with any order  that totals over Ninety-nine Pounds, This Miracle of Science comes with a jar of Double Strength Nipple Cream! Dear me! I'm quite certain I've no idea why one would need double strength nipples, but given that do I seem to be behind in so much, perhaps, here in these Modern Times one does have need to have ones nipples be extra strong!

Anyway Little Ones, here in my wonder and amazement at all these Miracles I fear I may be digressing! And I know you, my Dear Readers, as did I, want to see right here and now what Wonders Modern Science has given us! So without further adieu may I present to you the Brand New and apparently Improved, Instant Va Jay Jay!

Just think! No longer do you have to go through the bother and expense, not to mention the hassle of having to lug one of those old fashioned home grown things round with you everywhere you go!  I mean, by what I've learned from just the telly alone. Those ugly obsolete, outdated and old-fashioned models were " uncomfortable, itchy, odoriferous and given to be the primary cause of that not so fresh feeling!" I know! Simply shocking isn't it? Why just looking at the news these days it seems one has to rush right out and purchase a whole plethora of expensive. awkward and cumbersome thing just for the ordinary and every day upkeep of one! Not to mention they are also prone to frequent embarrassing problems that require professional attention! 

Well not anymore! Now, through the Wonder of Modern Science, you too can have a new and vastly improved, not to mention, far more hygienic model at your home or where you work! Why you can even keep a handy spare in the car or in your locker at the gym, and at such a ridiculously inexpensive price, I would strongly suggest rushing right out and purchasing several! Remember! Christmas is coming and they make the perfect stocking stuffer for Mom and Dad and boys and girls of all ages!

Whew! Miz Know-It-All is simply exhausted by all this wonderment, as I am sure are you, so she is going to bid you good day now and retire to the cabana for one of Lar's wonderful soothing drinks and a massage!

Tah!

5 comments:

  1. Holy crap! you just saved me fifty grand! thanks Miz-knows-some-stuff! that was a close one! ;-)

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  2. Oh it gets even better Honey! I hear tell there is a secret place on the back side to hide your winkie in! No longer do you have to pick having only one or the other! You can have BOTH! See! Told ya it was a miracle!

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  3. Hmmm. I just finished watching this video depicting a rather messy surgery that I've put down a deposit for, and then ended up here. If only I had known about this months ago.

    Sigh...

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  4. BOTH!... well I'll be! does that mean one would no longer need a Lars? someone's taken the saying "go f**k yourself!" a little to literally huh?

    No?...

    That's not how it works?...

    Damn! and here I thought they'd found a cure for AGP.

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  5. @Teagan,
    I know Dear, shame isn't it? Oh the wondrous things one learns of all too late, Oh well! Miz Know-It-All being ignorant of such till now has been rather pleased by her old fashioned version. So she would imagine that if can you can find it within yourself to banish the thought of what you could have had... You too will be immanently pleased with yours as well!

    @ Abby, I dare say that Miz Know-It-All would never fall to such crass language but that said she has had her share of suitors and lovers and well,, even were such a thing possible, the idea seems... I dunno, sad perhaps?

    Alas, to both of you, ss it seems neither of you is going to avail yourself of this gift of Modern Science I can do little else but wish you bonne chance my Dears! May your new, old fashioned version serve you well and long!

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