Sunday, May 8, 2011

Ducks R You!

You know... as a duly qualified computer owner and a woman, I'm more than a little sick of seeing all this gender theory crap tossed round by men in dresses... Yes Dear, You know who you are! The one down front in the that old frock you got from GoodWill... You, Yes You with the little tent pole sticking up there! Yes I'm speaking to you, and hey you, there in the back too! Melissa is it? My my my such furious action you got going on there...No wonder you had to sit in the back like that! Why it looks like you are drilling for oil with that right hand! Hope you got some sort of lubricant going on there or you are going to be one hurting puppy! Hey did you know that Vasoline is a by-product of drilling for oil? Talk about synchronisity!

Now where was I?

Oh yes!
Sweeties... I really hate to be the one to break it to you but... if you gotta talk about passing as a woman... Well... you ain't! Honest Engine! (my one nod to PC for the day!) You ain't-a-fooling no one! Oh sure... the peasants aren't out there with pitchforks and torches hunting for the twisted monster in their midst... But don't let that go to your head(s) They are being "nice not ignorant!" Hey, and why not? You are actually making their day when you come right down to it! Who do you think is going to be the featured topic of conversation at the dinner table tonight!

You are Sweetie, and it will go something like this!
Rodger! Would you pass the beans... Oh, and the corn bread too... Oh yes... Try the ham it's fresh... Oh, You'll never guess what I saw in the dollar store today? Gravy? There was some guy in there in a dress trying to pass himself off as a woman! No really! Want some butter for that biscuit? Yes I know!  No kidding! It was right here in East Podunk! I don't know who it was, some guy in a dress! I dunno why he was wearing it! No he wasn't with another guy... I mean I am all for gay-n'-stuff but he really was creeping me out! I wish they would keep that sick stuff of their's in the bedroom where it belongs!
Coffee? No thanks I have pie for later!
I mean, thanks to you, they are going to have a long and spirited debate on the moral decline of America and me? Well I get tons of really great psudo dialog to write!

But back to topic! Passing...

Honey you need to get your head out of all those silly transgender blogs and stop going to those gender conventions...  Instead, why not give it a try out here in the real world if you want to get to the meat of this! I mean can you say Photo Shop? Get real Sugar! You are a fat aging guy for Christ Sakes and that dead cat wig from Farah Fashions doesn't hide those shoulder of yours or  your guy walk or that guy voice now does it?

Nope! Not for one second

Now take women.. well they don't have to pass as women now do they? I mean despite the snappy wardrobe, no one in Mayberry was ever asking Aunt Bee if she was once... you know.. a man? The same with Helen Crump. or Thelma Lou! Heck even that ghastly neighbor of her's, Clara Edwards! While that one was more than enough to scare the horses and curdle new milk... Not once did you look at her and say... uhhh ummm guy? Dude! That's a guy! Hey look! Thats a guy!

And that ironicly, was... TV land! Its much much stranger out here where there are huge woman and tiny women fat women and skinny women, women with huge hands and chests and women with weird extra parts and beards... and yet... they don't get read as being men either now do they! And you do... Now why is that you suppose?

It's cause you're not a woman! You're a freaking guy fer Christ sakes! Have pecker will travel! Wake up and smell the coffee Precious! Guys are Guys. Girls are Girls or in laymans terms.. pun quite intended... That means the owner of an outtie or an innie! And whats with this silly argument that we  can't tell cause we don't know what's going on in those darling panties you got from WalMart? It's a given Dear Ones! Boys, well they own a set of the beans and franks, and girls, well they own the counter parts that can get them all the beans and franks they want! It's a given... We don't need to have a look-see in your bloomers cause you are wearing your dick on your sleeve for all to see!

So bottom line... and pay attention here, little ones cause it will be on the test. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, then an ugly pair of granny panties with bows ain't a gonna make it into a cow!

4 comments:

  1. Dear MZZZZ. No It all. I am sooo happy that you have come to blogistan to help splain what these ery strange people are trying to do? Why are the pretending to be women?

    Can you splain dat pleeese

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Anon U Mouse,
    Its quite simple really, they're nuts!

    ReplyDelete
  3. And if you're chromosomes are XY, and you dress like a girl, you're a man dressed like a girl.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow! Did you manage to come up with that all on your own? And so clever of you to link it to WikiPedia too! Why you must have stayed up all night to figure that one out!

    So tell me dear? When exactly did YOU have your DNA profile taken? Oh? You didn't? Well guess what? Neither did Miz Know-It-All! Really! She hasn't any idea what her DNA profile is like, or what her Mother's looked like, or what her father's looked like, or even what her favorite gold fish's DNA looked like, and guess what? Neither do you!

    In fact, I don't know of anyone who ever had a DNA profile taken and my guess you don't either! So other than it appears you were underarmed with an apparent waste of tax payer funded Public School education. You've taken this HUGE intellectual leap and assumed, the little you apparently remembered being told in High School Biology was right!. That is, what little you remember between your trying to set the lab on fire and trying to get a peek down little Suzys top.. And might I surmise by this grandiloquent post that what it is you have assumed is there is no such thing as men who are XX or women who are XY!

    Hate to be the one to break it to you Sugar, but that's just plain wrong! Wrong wrong wrong! So tell you what! When you get a clue about what's real in science, rather than what you assume to be real, come on back and we'll sit down and have us a nice long honest-to-goodness adult conversation about it!
    Till then,
    Tah!

    ReplyDelete