Saturday, March 2, 2013

Of Blind Men and Elephants

There is a very old Asian Parable about the utter foolishness of how a man can "see" a thing he has in his hand quite clearly, yet by his trying to extrapolate the meaning of the whole from that mere handful, his concept on the whole of the thing is off by a mile!

In this parable, (with small variation) there are six blind men. Each of whom are tasked by their king to touch an elephant, then each in turn is requested to tell the king, based on his experience exactly what sort of beast an elephant really is!
Depending upon the version, an elephant is in turn described by the various blind men as being akin to:

  • a winnowing basket
  • a plowshare
  • a plow
  • a granary
  • a pillar
  • a mortar
  • a pestle
  • a water spout
  • a fan
  • a throne

In 1873 The American, John Saxe, borrowed quite liberally from the legends, published a poem he entitled simply enough as;

"The Blind Men and the Elephant"

The Blind Men and the Elephant"
by John Godfrey Saxe

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk
Cried, "Ho! what have we here,
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up he spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee:
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope.
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!


So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen.

Miz Know It All  has spent far more time than you can know in wandering the back halls of Blog-O-Stan. Looking high and low into all the various and sundry dark corners, and there are many... And quite unlike anyone else in this demented land,  she has listened, yes actually listened to all the many and competing arguments given by all. In that time, the one thing that has remained consistent is that each and everyone of these many many things bunched up under the rubric of "Trans and Transgender" are to a one so very much like the dissembled elephant from both of the parable and the poem. So much so, that yours truly shall endeavor over the six weeks or so to enlighten how it is that these six different takes are exactly like the blind men of yore! Because while each does in fact have a firm grasp upon a singular part of that which is "trans" in their fetid little hands, and so, are quite correct in describing it,... Each an every one of them when extrapolated upon the whole wind up so far off the mark as to be totally, utterly, and completely wrong!

That said, Miz Know It All is sad to say that once this very worthwhile task is done. Miz Know It All shall be taking her final leave of Blog-O-Stan and it's inhabitants for good. As she has said before, she has a very rich and full life out in the real world that is actually stunted by her time here! One that is at best only slightly and even then only tangentially connected to her past and the world of victimized chest beating which is Blog-O-Stan.. Besides! Shes quite certain, and of this you will agree, she has been mightily encouraged, invited and even cajoled perhaps one time too many to take her Ol' hater, privileged elitist ass and just butt the hell out of all things trans where it is very very clear she is not wanted!

So... who is she to disappoint her dear dear readers! Her wish, as always, is your command!

Most sincerely, truly and finally yours

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Pulling the Plug

Yesterday Miz Know It All temporarily pulled the plug to this blog. Why? Two very good reasons...

She has a very full and rich life, none of which has the least thing to do with trans, at least it has nothing to do with trans once she turns off the bloody damned computer!.

Because some low life actually had the chutzpah to use this platform to out another! Even if I do not care in the least for the one who was being outted, and even if pretty much everything about them can be found in less than two clicks of the mouse. Keeping confidences is still something which I honor and which I will not allow it to be broken on my blog. That is why I have turned on the moderation for all comments, and why, after the next post... I am seriously considering retiring from this hapless pursuit for good!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Conundrum

Recently Miz Know It All was taken to task by a young woman for being callus in both her wording and her choice of tone. Both of which are in fact somewhat true. Miz Know It All can, and she often does show a certain hardness usually characteristic of, and evidenced by, those jaded by the passing of time. While that may be true to a certain extent, there are other more compelling reasons she seems so hardened!.

The young woman in question seemed to feel (and rightly I might add) that those of us who have in the parlance "Been There, Done That should be more encouraging to those like herself. That if we, having "Been There, Done That," cannot be more caring, more concerned, that we send a meta message of hopelessness! Again she is right... to a point. For you see there is a conundrum faced by every sister when it comes to what she can and does say on line and how.  Because it is not just the few who read these words! Rather our words are tossed upon the winds to be read by Lord only knows who! But this much can be said with certainty! Our words are read with a far greater frequency by those who have created a false narrative from others "borrowed words" than they are read by those for whom their narrative was written into the stone of their lives in letters of blood!

This same Conundrum predates the internet by many many years. In fact the word Connudrum was chosen to describe what it means to face the whole of Transsexuality by the writer, Jan Morris and it is with a nod to her that I would now like to borrow the term to describe a more specific facet of what faces those women of history who would dare to put their words down now in the age of instant media!

For the woman of history in the here and now, the conundrum is this... If the words we would like to say are said in the hopes of reaching the young like the woman who took Miz Know It All to task. Then those same words are also being read by the fifty to one, who, searching for ways to hide their own shame at having issues of gender, cannot and will not put forth their own and true narratives! Instead, they read those accounts of transsexuals who really and truly had no choices in the matter, and with neither the same experiences or understanding, they adopt their words as their own! The perfect example being Jan Morris's most famous catch phrase!  "A woman trapped in a man's body!" Prior to the publication of her book that phrase, or anything similar was not to be found in any of the narratives offered either to the public or to the gatekeepers! Yet within months of the book hitting the stands, it was how every single account of gender variance became "a woman born into a man's body!"  Now either there was actually a sudden and unexplained emergence of women trapped in a men's bodies in 1974, or the term had been borrowe by those for whom it was not, prior to this, part of their narratives! Oh sure there is to be found a certain ease in this phrase in explaining the unexplainable using this easy metaphor. But the point remains that it is curious how this came about.

An example that is closer to home with Miz Know It All is the Phrase "Always a Woman" Which btw, always grates on her very last nerve, because it is simply dreadful English! One cannot have always been a woman unless one has always been an adult female! Children are not and cannot have been woman! Hence it is impossible for one to have "always" been a woman! Now aside from the bastardization of the mother tongue. The main reason this grates so is that it is a bald faced lie! Miz Know It All was friends with the woman who coined this phrase. A woman of history who went by the Nom de Plume "Kate Grimaldi!"  What "Kate" was trying to express more than a decade back was that for those born transsexual! and ONLY for those born transsexual. That once all is said and done, in retrospect, it becomes clear that one has always been a female. One who was dealing with what has to be the most horrible hand possible!  When Kate first put this out there, there is no small irony in how she was taken to task over and over again by then nascent TG! Who at the time were not about to give up so easily on having had their former  glorious man-selves! They had been born male, they had lived as males, and many of them were, then as now, intent upon retaining that which makes one male! More so, before this idea spread and twisted,, the standard narrative for the TG was that they remembered how this grew upon them! Usually it starting with some sexualized exposure to women's clothing as an erotic device somewhere between 13 and 19 give or take a few years and even then it die not become an real issue until their thirties or later... VS. the TS. who to a one had memories of their being at odds with their genitalia going back to their first explorations of self between two and five!

Yet it is with true regret that I remember how well Kate argued her points! Because shortly after this... "the true narrative of the TG" suddenly and completely changed! No longer was there any mention of by them of ever having been aroused by women's clothing! No longer was there any mention of the age of onset being as a tweener to teener,  nor of the other part which was how it had grown in intensity as the years progressed!

No, now, beholding of this kernel of "the TS narrative" hand crafted by Kate and then stolen, morphed and parroted back, "they" all suddenly knew "they were always women" while still in utero! "They had always been women" (female, well now! That was, and is still too much of a stretch for those who quite like having that penis O' theirs don't cha know!!) They now have also always known then and yet, somehow, they, unlike us, have managed to survive and not only that but to survive quite well., Well into their fifties, sixties and beyond! This, if bolstered by how with the age of easy access to info about TS being close to fifty years old, that the age of onset of any "gender crisis"seems to have risen in these same TG! Going from a then old age of, forties fifties to now their fifties and sixties and even later!  Again it is always done with stolen bits of narrative. All of it partially digested then parroted back about having always struggled with their HUGE issues... but never does it seem to jive how these issues could have been that HUGE or that much of a struggle as they seemed to have little to no problem getting it on with the little woman as men every Saturday night for the last thirty some years or more! Yeahhh... they were always women... right...

Miz Know It All was not the only sister to notice this phenomena and so she did what most of us did! We all started to take the serious discussions about ourselves off line. Having our discussions on originations, on explorations and the like. Conversations that can only come to be known from a life time of learning. All of which is said quietly and well out of ear shot of the TG... Because without fail, it seems that every time something of our knowing leaks out, and if it unfortunately makes it's way into the male minds who mine our narratives for such things... The knowledge would be taken, twisted and then parroted back as their bestest and alwaysest knowing, even if they could not at gun point begin to say what any of it really and truly meant!

So therein lies the conundrum! Do we hope for the best and write only for the ears of those whom we would dearly love to have it go to? Knowing that in the telling for those few, that our words would be harvested by the many, to be made over into a knot of lies? A knowing and telling, which in the end would only serve to make the lives of the few all the harder? Or do we keep our fences up and mended? Pray to the gods we might still pray to, that these few might survive alone as we keep our council and those still unknown  quantities to ourselves? Only imparting them when we can directly and one to one. If and only if when we can and only for those for whom they are relative? Alas experience has taught that the latter is the only way!

So it is with my deepest apologies to the young woman, that I cannot and will not become the writer she and I both wish I could be!

Sadly yours

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Burning Bridges

One of the classic ways to delay an advancing force was to burn your bridges behind you! By the act of fire, making what had once been the easy crossing of a physical/geographical barrier became the same difficult if not impossible crossing it had been before the bridge was erected! Needless to say, as useful as this may be to cut off a threat, it also works in reverse as well! If one burns ones bridges, then going back to what was is just as difficult or as impossible! Once that bridge is burnt, there simply is no going back!

This example was such a poignant one to human life that the act of burning a bridge became part of our lexicon! Such that when it is said one has burnt one's bridges, it implies that the one doing the act of burning has done something which simply cannot be undone... The act of telling the boss they are a croaker sack stuffed full of shit comes to mind! While it may be quite satisfying to say it, once done, it is pretty much assured that the sayer is going to be looking for other "opportunities!"

Transition is also one of those things which like the above, once done, cannot be undone! Of for sure... you could cut your hair, toss the ill fitting clothes into the garbage along with the gobs of bad makeup, and restock your Ol' man-self from the Sears Men's Department of ugly clothes... but just as those things which you just purged were but simply trappings of gender and have little to do with ones sex, so to does their counter have little to do with rebuilding what was destroyed when your bridge was burnt!

Honestly? You folks gotta get way more serious about this and stop cheering each other on like lemmings! Cause when the pink fog wears off... There is a hard cold reality that is going to come crashing in that there is no going back! You simply cannot undo the damage done. The damage you have done to your familial relations is forever! The friendships which were lost to this endeavor are gone for good. You cannot set to right the business connections which were soured by your acts. What is done is done, and never will it be as it once was! And that is not even considering if one has had "the surgery" or not! Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Willy? Well, cut that little old rascal off and he's gone for good and tain't never going to pop his funny looking head up in this world ever again!

But what the hey! More than 80% of "trans-(wo)men" will never have surgery! Why? cause they're planning on keeping 'The Precious!" In fact, hearing them talk, it is not just "The Precious" they think they can hold onto... It seems they are under the delusion they can keep it all!  Why the house the status, the kids/grandkids, the job, the little woman, the membership in the Rotary Club, their 401k (minus of course the girl suit they want to buy!) the old drinking buddys!  Heck! It seems they are under the delusion that all of can transfer over cause they simply want it to!... Hey! They were men! They know how to do things happen, having spend 50 some years as a men building careers and by God, if they made it, then it's theirs to keep! Just listen to the things they all say to the little wifey! "but I won't change! I'll still be me! I'll just be female! We can even still have sex together as lesbians! Why are you being so mean! Why won't you support me?" Me me me!

Really? Really? The whole point of transition is to NOT be who you were! To NOT be a guy! Tell me? Where did she sign up to be in a lesbian relationship with a man in a dress who pretends to be female? No where? uhu...

Remember transition is an act of burning ones bridges... and what that means to the possibility of return? There isn't one! Even the idea of return is one colossal fail!  Remember, when it is gone, it is gone!

I know I know! I can see you saying "big deal!" You're smart people. You are on this side now, so what does it matter? "So what if I crossed my bridge then burnt it! Who the heck cares! I can simply "live as a woman" now!" Ahhh my dear dear campers! Were that life were but so simple! Sadly what is NEVER told to those who run quickly and gayly across their bridged, torches held to the high, is that there is not some bright shinning city called girl town just waiting for them on this side with welcoming arms! There is only a vast and empty wasteland full of the worst sort of hardship and despair! Oh don't get me wrong! There really is that city to be had, but it is a very long ways off. It is nothing like what you think it will be like, and getting there is an act of extremis! One which can only be done if one is completely willing to leave all the things from the old life, as well as anything which they were foolish enough to take across that bridge! Including all that they knew or more likely, all that they thought they knew about life on this side! Even then? The chances of them arriving safe and sane in that far and distant land is anything but assured!  The image of war refugees pouring out of the cities into the country side sticks in my mind. At first they will all be lugging all that they could carry with them. Clunking and bunmping slowly out of town... and many, even faced with the horrors that surround them are going to be unwilling to part with their "treasures!" So when exhaustion sets in, they are going to sit down, clutch their stuff, and there in the midst of all the others cast off junk they will die!

Who knows? Maybe the army won't cross? Maybe there might be a way for them to eek out a living here in the detritus and dead! Certainly some have! The net is filled with those who make Pink Essence's and TS Road Maps, but make no mistake! For all their noise, they are very few and very far between and having burnt their bridge and being unwilling to leave what was theirs, they are simply making the best of a very bad situation by feeding on you, and they are not and never will be one step closer to girl town than they were when they also sat down! Again... look at their numbers... how many do you think can live upon the hapless who followed them? Certainly not the hapless who will stupidly render their own flesh at their bidding so those few may stay contented and full?

No Dear ones! If you are one of those from Blog Town playing with matches on the bridge to the wastes of Jender, it might behoove you to consider long and hard what awaits you on the other side! You spent a life time playing by man rules... Are you really ready now to play by girl rules for the rest of your life? To be judged ONLY on your looks and to be found sorely wanting? To be willingly subservient to men and still ignored? To accept the complete loss of your male privileges while you watch other, still men exercise theirs? To know all that you once had will never be yours again? Are you willing to accept this struggle and see it to completion knowing your chances of success are minuscule and even then, it will take the rest of your life?

If the answer to any of those is no... then I strongly suggest that you keep your matches at home! Cross the bridge if you want! Put on a frock and play in the wastelands to your hearts content, but remember... when the devil is in your ear telling you how it will be all better if that bridge were gone... The odds are, that it will be anything but!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

But I Can't!!!

 Well it's a perfectly lovely Sunday! So what better time to dance a little Ol' jig of defiance on the Transjactivists third rail of Jendar!

That being of course the "I would if I could, but I can't!"

By this Miz Know It All is of course referring to the 101 reasons touted over and over and over again why all those poor sufferers in Jenderville must get their rights as women right now, cause they simply cannot ever get surgery!!

Oh but where angels fear to tread, Miz Know It All will stout heartedly go! So if you are ready campers. Lets debunk the whole "I can't myth" shall we?

Starting with, "It's too expensive!"

Really? If you had cancer and were going to die from it, you simply could not find the funds no matter what? Wow! Really sucks to be you doesn't it! Oh! I see! That is an entirely different situation! Umm hummm... and how might it be different may I ask? I mean the prevailing reason given for everyone out there doing this is that you simply must transition! Because if you do not transition then you will most certainly die by your hand. Worse, you will die oh so soon! Well now! Dead is dead in my book! Doesn't really matter if you are hit by a train, hit by lighting, eaten by wolverines or you eat yourself! Dead is still dead isn't it?

So then if you simply MUST transition to being a woman or most certainly die, then surgery is also a must do! N'est-ce pas? Yep, it most certainly has to be, because while I do so hate to be the bearer of bad news, females simply do not have peckers! Nope! Really! They don't! Those cross dressing guys are welcome to play The Emperor's New Clothes all they like and jolly good for them, but if there's still a pecker in them thar panties, that means the bearer of said pecker is still a male! So if it must be woman or die... Then surgery it is!

Anyway. Miz Know It All is a wise woman and she knows her readers are smart as tacks too! So we will simply go with the assumption everyone here understands this most basic of concepts and move on to the how the heck do you get the money? Which after all is a far more mysterious concept!

So what is the first thing you are going to get this seemingly mind numbing sum of money? You do what your Grand Parents or Great Grand Parents did back in the depression. You cut your expenses! If something is not directly related to your basic survival then out it goes! Cable TV? Poof! Gone! High Speed Internet! Bye Bye! Coffee at Starbucks? Gone! Pre-prepared foods of any sort? Way gone! Eating out? You gotta be kidding! That is soooo Gone! MKIA says! "Get thee a cook book!" Best part is when you are done transition you will also be a pretty darn good and VERY creative cook!

Alcohol of any form? Too bad, it's Gone! Drugs? Really? That is sooo Gone! Cell service other than the most basic you have to survive? It is also Gone! Car payment? Really? Car payments? If you can afford that nice a car, then you are certainly not trying too hard to get this done are you? Sell that mill stone round your neck like yesterday, and if you simply must have a car to get to work then, get thee a klunker! Cars can be had for a grand or less and when these cheap but dying dinosaurs pass on. You simply pull the tags and get another! Bada Boom, Baba Bing!

House payment? If you got one of these, then get your lazy ass the hell right outta here! You're wasting my time and your's kevetching about not having any money! You are sitting in your surgery, so STFU!! Apartment? Well now! That's more like it! About that one, you are going start looking here and now to totally re-think things housing wise, which may mean looking even on the worst side of town till you can find what has to be the cheapest apartment or even a house possible with as many rooms as possible, then you are going to get yourself some roomers! Shazam! You just turned what was a monthly expense into monthly income! So is it going to be lots and lots O' fun to not have your own space? Heck no! It will bite ass big time, but it doesn't matter does it because this is to save your life remember and that is one heck of a BIG chunk of money!

Doing all the above in two years time will return a breathtakingly amazing sum of money but it is not going to be enough by itself to get you to where you want to be! That is unless you have it in you to save for say five years,  but the clock is ticking here and you are going to take your own life so soon remember? This means you have to have more income and like now!

This means extra work doesn't it? Go out young woman, and get thee a night job at 7-11... or Walmart, or any grocery store, big box store, etc etc etc, ETC!  There will be plenty of time to sleep later when your life is not in eminent jeopardy! As long as you can find the time for six to eight hours sleep, even if it is broken up into smaller chunks, it still leaves you 16 hours a day, seven days a week to make money! But these jobs don't pay squat. right? Not worth the time it takes to do em?

OK, Lets look at the 7-11 night clerk job shall we?

Say you work 20 hrs a week, (leaves you time for a third job doesn't it) paying no more than minimum wage. That's a whole $7.25 an hour x 20 = $145.00 a week. Certainly nothing to write home about, but this is your second job right? So times that by all 52 weeks  What you want a vacation? No way in hell Missy! This is your life at risk remember! That means you will have $7, 540 minimum at the end of the year before taxes! So lets assume that will take $1,000, it's not going to but lets be generous here! That still leaves you with a net of $6,000! Minimum!This by the way is half the cost of the best SRS surgery in Thailand, or if you are willing to take a bit more of a risk.. nearly the entire sum needed at one of the lesser known docs there!

Wait a second! You are saying that inside of a year you can have the money for SRS just by working a second job? Yep! And if you add in the savings you got from cutting expenses to the bone, you should have the airfare and miscellaneous expenses too! If you want to extend this second job to two years, then you have over $12,000 cash in hand and the savings from cutting expenses to the bone should equal at least half that again! So we are talking a minimum, repeat MINIMUM of $16,000... You can get a lot of SRS pretty much anywhere for that much money!

But! You say you gotta have an FFS too, and what of a BA? Everyone knows that any woman worth her salt has those amazingly huge ta-tas, and besides! You just cannot seem to get any work where you are, much less a freaking second job!

No worries! Just leave it to Miz Know It All to have "The Answers!"

Campers! What you need to do is consider The Exciting World of Long Haul Trucking!Yep! You are going to embark on what is going to be one l-o-n-g and VERY profitable road trip! First you sell everything you own other than some clothes! You then start calling round, and inside of two weeks, I guarantee that no matter how badly you pass as female, barring any DUI's, felony arrest records, or rampant drug usage, you are going to be at a trucking school which will be paid for in advance by your new employer!

Once you have finished your two or three weeks of schooling, it is time for your on the road training, which is going to be another three weeks to a month WITH PAY, after which you will be given your own truck! Which by the way, and this is the really great part of this for making money for surgery! This truck is also going to be your Brand New Home! That's right! You will have a roof over your head for as long as you want it FREE OF CHARGE! That first year alone will find you bringing in close to $40.000... That's right, and with almost no expenses! Forty Thousand Dollars! Even deducting for the cost of your school and your VERY meager living expenses... again expenses are the most bare bones possible which means you WILL be eating ALL your meals from a hot pot or toaster oven in the truck. You can expect to have in your hot little hand at the end of the year, at least $20,000.00 to $30,000.00! Twenty to Thirty Thousand dollars in your first year alone! Times that by two years and assuming no raises, which is not going to be the case at all! You're at at least $40,000.00 to $60,000.00 richer! Times three years... wow that is now at least $60,000.00 at the minimum! SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! That M'Dear is nothing to sneeze at in my book! If you were to go to one of the best doctors in the world, say Suporn for example, that would give you the full works, SRS BA FFS, along with airfare and living expenses for at least three months... and still leave you close to $12,000 to start a new life!

We are talking three years of hard work and mean living in exchange for the rest of your life! That sounds like one hell of a bargain to me!

Oh but the money isn't the only reason, "you can't!" You can't because of all these dire medical problems you have that are all absolute contraindications to any surgery! Oh I see.. and those would be what exactly? Oh? You don't know right off the bat but you know they are dire! Well as usual, Miz Know It All knows the right answer!

The primary contraindications for SRS are,

  1. Poorly controlled diabetes.
  2. Hemophilia,.
  3. Severe hypertension.
  4. Deep vein thrombosis 
  5. Infection ~with~ HIV. 

And of course... severe mental illness.

These are (with the exception of being barking mad) major life threats and they need to be dealt with ASAP, or your getting SRS or not isn't really going to matter is it? So cold as it may be, this one kinda sorta takes care of itself doesn't it... Oh and for the record... THESE ARE NOT ABSOLUTE CONTRAINDICATIONS! They are simply factors which should be dealt with before an voluntary surgery, but that said, you can still find doctors out there willing to take the risk if it is important enough for you to risk it as well! Miz Know It All remembers one brave sister who dying of cancer, and knowing that the surgery would shorten her life, that is if she even survived the surgery itself, still had an SRS because it really was that important to her... Oh and for the record she survived the surgery but it did shorten her life by at least half of her remaining days, but she was completely happy with her decision! She died a female!

So ! Given that Transsexuals occur at a rate of one in 36,000, (that's one in thirty six thousand) births, the chances that you would you would have it and one of these other conditions is very unlikely isn't it! Far far less than your chances of getting hit by a meteor for example! Not impossible mind you, but the occurrence would be so amazingly rare that it sorta begs the argument doesn't it?

So there ya go! The money can be had if one is simply willing to become creative and to sacrifice to get it...and there really are pretty darn few reasons one cannot have the surgery medically... Now that you know the truth of it? May I ask the $64,000.00 Question?

What really is holding YOU back?


Saturday, December 8, 2012

What does this mean... passing?

One of the ideas Miz Know It All often reads of in her passages through the Land Of Misfit Toys is the claims by the various denizens of them "Passing."

But what does this mean? This "Passing?" Does it mean nothing more than the villagers didn't come out in force today with pitchforks and torches thirsting for the blood of trans monsters wandering en Femme? Or does it mean that the person in question was actually being perceived as being "the opposite sex?"

Actually? In the New Speak of Trans Land, (heretofore also known as the land of Misfit Toys!) It means both and it also means all points between. For when one says they are passing it could simply mean that some semblance of cultural acknowledgement was made towards them, or it might mean they have not and cannot be read as their birth sex, and all points between

Which is why Miz Know It All is going to delight her readers by dragging out an oldie but still goodie written over a decade back by a talented writer who went by the Nom de Plume Kate Grimaldi... Kate wrote this back in the day after a forum interaction with a sister about their "Passing." Which when they said "Passing" they were expressing having not been read in decades, when up piped another voice who said they too were not read! Well not very often! Why in fact it hadn't happened to them more than twice that very day!

Decades... hours... minutes, same terms, very very VERY different meanings...

Thus was born "The Stepped Phase Scale," This scale of Kate's was composed of six levels.

  • Step 0, No passing
  • Step 1, Pass in a crowd
  • Step 2, Pass with longer person-to-person interactions
  • Step 3, Passing with a lover
  • Step 4, Sustained Passing
  • Step 5, Having your memory rewrite itself
  • Step 6, Knowing that you have always been female
Obviously some explanations are in order

The Null Step,
This is that guy in a wig we all know and love so so well.. but want nothing to do with at all! The one who no matter what he says about how he is a woman is so clearly a man in a dress he is going to be read by a blind man at midnight from half a mile away... Therefore he does not and cannot be said to pass in anyway-shape-form-or-fashion!

The First Step,
That is simply you walking into the Mall and the torches are not lit! In fact, no one says a darn thing to you ,so you are pretty much left to your own devices. What this means passing wise is you have reached the point were you are rated as a threat to others on par with the potted plants, and so, you are ignored... "Wow that was a damned ugly woman. Hummm I gotta remember to get some toothpaste and I need to call Uncle Bob when I get home! I wonder what we are having for dinner?"

The Second step,
The one Miz Know It All thinks most often applies when she reads about some 60 something whoo ups and says they are "Passing," Because the Second Step, is nothing more than "Passing" a little longer than the quick glance... We humans are biologically programmed to sex each other and we do it in a fraction of a second, but we are also busy as heck and very VERY self centered... Which means that 99% of us pay almost no attention to the person on the other side of a counter from us, other than to do what we must to make them go away...  So if there are enough social clues one way or the other to make a rather rudimentary assessment, we sex em based on that alone and then think nothing more of it! Wow, that sure is one ugly woman but it mostly looks female. So... the clerk or the waiter, or the bank teller is going to say "Can I help you Ma'am?" This is the level where you notice that doors are usually held open, men tip their hats, etc etc etc... It is where society acknowledges you as female... sorta

The Third Step,
Getting Hot and Heavy, Kate took a lot of heat for this one being third, but over the years I have come to see why she put it where she did. This is the point where you have either had surgery or you are not far away and you have come to accept that the world sees you as a female, so you start to spread your wings a bit and worry less, and when we do that, we hit others, or might I say, they "Hit" upon us? Hummmm? Your appearance at this point is at least feminine enough that you have become exactly what most women are to men. A sexual object! Now before you let that go to your head. remember most men would gladly fuck a knot hole on a tree if it was wet and willing! Really! Men are not all choosie about what they fuck, at least if no one is looking! So take this with a grain of salt and see it for what it really is passing wise...

The Fourth Step,
Wow this is the toughy! If there was ever a line in the sand that you could point to vis-a-vie and say most do not and will not make it this far... then SP 4 is it! What this level of passing means is that you are not getting read on the sly... That after days, weeks, months or even years of passing as female in daily interactions, that your little secret is not quietly found out! That you are able to keep it going day in and day out without fail and the important part? Without thought on your part... Something which if you do fail at, you are not too likely to discover unless you are keenly observant of the little changes in others behavior... Because at this point, they have come know and probably to like you! So what if you turn out, not to be a girl but to be that sweet guy, I mean girl, guy, girl, oh heck the one over yonder who use to be a guy! They are still going to be nice to you, but trust me, if you do not make it here, they may be nice as pie but they will never accord you the same as they would with another other woman... No set ups with their brothers for example... or they will always change of subject when it comes to intimate and personal conversations... Step Four is make or break, and as Miz Know It All said... few make it to, much less past this point.

But if you do, there are more!

The Fifth Step,
If you have been paying attention you have noticed that these steps are not remotely equal.. that in each one the level of passing is on a whole order greater than the last... so by now I am sure you are wondering why this has switched gears so... How can your memory change? And what has that to do with "Passing" fer Christs sake! Well the how is simple... you have moved on from others not reading you to you yourself are not reading you! This is where you can finally look into the mirror of either your mind or your eye and only see a female..As to why? It's curious how this one happens but happen it does... So much so that if you are looking at old pictures, that is if you have come this far and any still exist! You will be looking, not for a male child but for that bright eyed little girl that you remember yourself because that is what you were! So even though there is a familiarity about that boy there in her stead, he only seems familiar to you in what is the most surreal of ways!

The Sixth Step
This is where actually have moved past, "Passing" because you have come to realize when looking back that you are and always have been female. That no matter how dearly it has cost you or how much you suffered... you did what you had to do because you were a female doing the very best she could with the ugly hand she was dealt! This is also the hardest one to relate to others because it simply cannot be understood all this really means and why you are now so distant to everyone in the "community" until you actually get there! Kinda like sexual intercourse is. You can have read everything every written about it, have heard all the stories but as a virgin, that in no way can begin to prepare you for what it actually feels like when a man is playing your arching body like a violin as he penetrates you. Ya just gotta live it to know it... but trust me, this level of "Passing" really does exist and dare I say it.. there are even realms beyond it, but the women I know of who have gotten that far? Well, I can count em on one hand...

Well, there you have it... So the next time someone is talking about their passing... you can now ask em exactly what they mean by that and by their responses... you will know how well they really "Pass!"


SP Scale (c) Kate Grimaldi

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Forbidden Fruit

In all the faiths which spring from the loins of Abraham, there is a story of the fall of man. A sad tale in which the divine had given to his children a world of wonder and joy! A world without pain or suffering. A world which was theirs to do with as they wanted, as long as Adam and Eve, and one would assume, their progeny did not consume the one and only fruit forbidden to them. Why the divine created such a thing or why she placed it there... Well who knows the minds of the gods!

Well as we all know, Satan convinced first Eve then though her, Adam to take a bite... After all this was paradise and what harm could come from such a little thing? Course what is done cannot be undone, and so our hapless mythical forefather and mother were chastised by the divine and sent packing out into the cold cold world where they would have to find their way midst the stones and rocks!

In the land of Blog-O-Stan there is also a forbidden fruit! This one thing tiny little thing which is so utterly terrible, that to simply cast ones eyes upon it has been known to have caused great spells of apoplexy and even the vapors!

What pray tell is this horror of horrors found midst the wonderful and happy land of the gender variant?  Are you sure you really want to know campers? You know, that as it was with our hapless mythical fore fathers and mothers... what is known cannot be unknown! You still want to know eh? Better sit down then campers and hold onto your pretty pink frocks cause Miz Know It All, (heretofore known as Satan) is gonna tell ya!

This horror of horrors is the (thankfully damned few) feckless creatures known as ... ~Transsexuals~ ! Yes! Those pain in the ass, think they are female and male despite what is twixt their legs so they gotta cut off what God give em whores! Those ungrateful so and so's who cannot for the life of them see how they fit so lovely into the wonderful spectrum of gender expression! Those rude bastards, having been born with cocks like everyone else in Gender-Ville, yet who would callowly renounce their membership in the divine LGBT! Those Heretics who even go so far as to mutilate their God given bodies, and in the doing loose forever the utter joy of sticking their precious dicks into something warm and wet! All this so they, vile evil that they are, can trick some poor unsuspecting straight man into having sex with em!?! Woe unto us! For these sad creatures, as crazy as bat shitas they might be for thinking themselves different, are still our kin! So we must from all the goodness in our hearts find ways to bring them to the light! We must find ways no matter how much it may hurt them, to make them see how foolish are their doings, and how they were, are, and how no matter what always will be simply crossdressers like us who got really really really carried away! For happiness will certainly be theirs if they can only find it within themselves to whip off their wigs was we all do, and proclaim loudly to the world that they are (or were before their mutilation) really men... If we can only have the patience  and love to bring them under of our wide umbrella of love, their pointless sacrifice of flesh and blood and tears will not have been in vain! Why just by their proud and noble example once they are known, the legions of would-of-could-of's-if-only will be emboldened too to cast off their hated male raiment, and take up the sparkly and revealing frocks of joy!

No Campers... No... Please! Relax! Miz Know It All has not suddenly taken leave of her senses! She simply though that as it was indeed a Sunday, her little biblical analogy might be... ahem... (amen?) entertaining! I mean, Hyperbole aside. There really is one, and it seems ONLY one forbidden narrative in the great spectrum of umbrella land! That being the obviously hateful and homophobic all inclusive white bread'sexual/physical/mental/spiritual two sex binary aspiration! Why one can and will be welcomed with open arms into the wonderful T community of gender expression even if one ID's as an adult baby girl, ne. 60 year old bald man! It matters not what your kink, shame or discomfort may be, all are welcome if one but embrasses their inner and outer queerness! Why look how simple it is to become a "trans-"man simply by binding ones hated breasts and cutting off ones hair! Periods? Meh! Stuff another tampon in there cause who has to know! Erections scaring the kiddies? That's what the frilly petticoats you long for hide! Cause out here in the land of Glee, it is the donning of those pretty pretty frocks and rubber cocks that is all it takes to "express" ones true self! Here in the land where the glitter bombs grow, one can indeed be a trans man, then a trans woman and then a trans man again all in the space of a hour if one feels that is who they "truly" are... For it's all about their gender queerness you see and nothing more... All of it expressed into being by these worldly trappings which "the other sex" uses to provide sexual clues and often cause arousal to the other sex is what truly makes one a man or a woman... doesn't it? Yes by God it does here under the loving laws of Gender-Ville! A grand and wonderful place were we break those mean old suffocating paradigms of a bigoted binary sex by substituting what seems a pretty well defined and rather rigid set of gender clues... but here is the good part! In Gender-Ville, they are worn by... THE OTHER SEX! Wait I think I meant THE OTHER GENDER! Whew... close one there!

Sadly, this means that despite our expansive love for those... shudder to say it, Transsexuals,  there is indeed no room in the inn for those few deluded folks as long as they just want to get surgery, fix documents and go forth into the straight world! Those pretty pretty folk who for reasons that elude us, just don't get it how honored they should be when they are outed to the world by their brothers and sisters of the frock! Thankfully if they haven't the balls to do it, then there are legions of others of a much better mind who are more than happy to do it for em!

Still, Why, might you ask? Why do these heretics want to pass on the utter joys of telling everyone they might encounter in their lives that they too are really "Trans?" Why should they give up so much and in the doing it seems, throw their "Trans" brethren under the bus, by their not being out there as the shining examples of what "Trans" really is? Why is it they cannot see all the great and beautiful things that the "Trans Activists" have done for them too by bravely creating a third sex and in including them too? So what if they want to love and be loved by men... No problem! With a membership in the LGBT and Marriage Equality they can be just as gay as they want! ( Yeah I know! Yuck... Why even the idea of sucking a dick? How gross!) Yet they still protest to us! They say that they are all for Marriage Equality but... even if they do want to have a hard dick in em (no matter how repulsive the idea is to the rest of us in Genderville,) they are not gay men, they insist that because they are "simply" women and not "trans" and that as most women do, they love men cause they are (extremely deluded I know!) straight! And get this... they want the rest of the world to think that same bit of homo-trans-phobic rubbish!

Why is it that cannot learn from the examples of these proud trans-women-activists-lesbians who have a... what did they call it again, oh yes, a lady stick just-a-itching to break some of that good old cotton ceiling, just like they were doing as men with the little woman for all those years before they figured out they were lesbian! Yummm yumm!

Well! Thankfully there are many many hard working souls out there who have these sad if pretty trans-gendered creatures best interests in mind even if they don't... So from me to you here is a MKIA tip of the hat to all of our hard working out you in a split second Gender Missionaries from the Nutmeg to the Beaver states who day in and day out are out preaching to the unwashed with their constant education and outreach! Cause as we all know! In the proud "inclusive" New Speak of Gender-Ville if the lie is said often enough to enough people it becomes the truth! So all hail sex = gender = trans = sex!


Saturday, November 17, 2012

Magical Markers!

Magical Markers! I mean, Gender Markers... Magical Gender Markers?

Miz Know It All has been coming across this curious expression repeatedly and often in her travels through the wilds of Blog-O-Stan, and she's not really quite sure what to make of it truth be know! Gender Marker? What the heck is a "Gender Marker?" Might a Gender Marker be something like a Magic Marker® perhaps? But one solely reserved only for the usage of one sex, or the other? Might the miraculous new Bic Amber® for her be considered a "Gender Marker?" After all this brand new pen was painstakingly designed by a committee of learned men especially for a woman's delicate and fragile sensibilities! Hence the reasoning behind why the pen can be had with either a pink OR purple case... Sadly the ink still comes out the same old black and blue as from the more traditionally male gendered markers. Not that it matters much given that women do not need to be worrying their pretty little heads doing things like writing as it takes away valuable time meant for far more important tasks like ironing and getting supper on the table for the man of the family!

So you will have to give it to Miz Know It All! It was a pretty good guess on her part, what with her being female and all and so not terribly bright, but alas, not the right one I fear! So while the Bic For Her® is in fact, a gendered marker, it is not "a" gender marker!

So what pray tell is this "Gender Marker" she has heard so much about? Well gather close campers! Imagine her surprise when she discovered that a "Gender Marker," as it is being referred to in Blog-O-Stan has nothing to do with makers at all! Rather, it is that little letter F or M found on official documents that indication the sex of the person being described to be either male or female!

Oh! Now I get it! A gender marker means that the bearer of said document, having been dully evaluated by a trained medical professional licensed to practice by the state, can be assumed to have the standard innie found on all of the female of the species, or they are carrying round one of the great variety of outties found on the males of the species... and all this without the casual observers having to actually get down and close to inspect the bearers neither regions themselves! What a clever and useful thing this Gender Marker is! Remind me to rush right out and get one first thing in the morning!

Ahhh but things are not so easily done in the various and sundry lands of Blog-O-Stan... A Gender Marker is not simply a convenient means of letting another know if you are in fact male or female... No! It is a tool of oppression created by the Transphobic Christo Nazi Fascists hell bent upon putting the poor victimized gender variant back into the closet... Wow! How horrible! I certainly hope it's not the closet where I keep my winter things! Terribly cramped in there it is!

No, a gender marker out in the wilds of Blog-O-Stan is the work of the devil himself!! For with the wrong gender marker, a trans-woman, with her baritone voice, five O'clock shadow and size 14 brogans, might find herself being questioned as to why she is in the ladies room! You see, without the right gender marker in hand, she might even be asked to leave the ladies room by official oppressors of the state, like the police, and God forbid, even directed, upon peril to her life, to use the men's facilities as she, being medically unfit for surgery, and poorer than dirt, and besides, she doesn't really dislike it all that much, has a penis!

You see dear campers... in the wilds of Blog-O-Stan, one's genitals being either an outtie or an innie, has no actually bearing on their sex, I mean "gender" What that means is you can be a man all during the work week and a woman on the weekend if it so pleases! Or, you can be a woman during the week and a strong manly man on the weekend if you'd druther! Why, if one were to stop and think about it for a moment... Why one could be any number of different genders  depending upon the day and time as one desired!

But alas! These wonderful wildly gendered free spirits must live in the same world as those nasty mean Ol' Transphobic Christo Nazi Fascists who insist that only those with a F on their papers may use the sexually segregated facilities designated for the female of the species! Or like wise, that those with a M on theirs must use the sexually segregated facilities designated for the males of the species... Though, as Miz Know It All has observed, that may not really be all that necessary as the male of the species seems to consider the entire world his urinal! Given his great and boundless delight in micturating upon anything and everything that stands still long enough for hims to do so!

What this means is that for the poor suffering trans-wo-man who has a cursed M on his papers corresponding with his outtie genitals. Well he is to be left to his own devices, out in the cold with the other males who are all pissing on anything and everything, but... those sacred and so lovely toilets that are hatefully reserved for those lesser beings, I mean females! Hey! Really! No fair! He was a man but now that he is a woman s(he) has every right to piss on them too cause his(her?) gender is female. Just ask! (S)He'll tell you so! And besides! We all know genitals do not in anyway indicate sex! (S)He is just as much a woman as those stupid bitches born bitches who Bogart these amazing and wonderful toilets to themselves!

Thankfully, through the tireless efforts by trans-women-activists in size 14 brogans, some localities have seen the light and removed that pesky Ol' examination by a trained medical professional licensed to practice by the state for a "Gender Marker," and replaced it with a form letter crafted by a counselor who might have heard the bearer say they might have felt kinda sorta like a female maybe, but not like a man fer sure, well not all the time exceapt when he is a lesbian! Hey that works for me! Can't see how you could possibly get more definitive than that! Pee free O' trans-women of the world! Pee free!

So there you have it! A gender maker is both a tool of oppression and at the same time, the means to wonders and joys beyond all compare! Imagine all that! And in just one single little letter too!


Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Damage Done

Over and over again Miz Know It All keeps hearing on Blog-O-Stan how it is way way past time to have the medical community just butt the hell outta all things when it comes to the process of Changing Sex, I mean "Gender!" Other than their being there of course to hand out hormones and surgeries on demand! Sorta like a rather perverse Trick or Treat!

"Trick or Treat! Trick or Treat! Take me willie and make it neat!

For example look at the video of this young person,

One would assume from the tone of this piece she really is all that and a bag chips happy to be in transition  Clearly she  knows exactly what she wants and why! No need for any long drawn out counseling to rule out other issues hiding behind her "gender problems" on this one is there? Besides, she has been online for a long long time before she even sought out any sort of actual therapy. So all the hard work was done and done long ago by all those wonderful anon-supporters cheering her on. Clearly as I said, there was no therapist needed! Blog-O-Stan is right I guess! We should sack the useless bastards! Cause those darn Gate Keepers are just an impediment to our rightful gender expression!

Oh but how things turn out when the blind and foolish rush in where angels fear to tread!

From an an article on the Sunday Mirror UK

Although Ms Cooper underwent a thorough psychological assessment and counseling at Hull Royal Infirmary prior to starting her sex change therapy she has suffered such torment living as a women that she has tried to commit suicide twice.

She told told the Sunday Mirror: ‘The hormones have made me feel up and down. One minute I feel moody and the next minute I feel really happy.’

‘The night I tried to slash my wrists I’d downed a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and just thought about how alone I am, and how my decision has alienated my family and how I will have to become a boy again to resolve it.’

Born a male called Brad, Ms Cooper began dressing as a girl aged 12, and at 15-years-old begged doctors to help her become a woman.

But she has failed to find happiness as a female, even admitting to dabbling in prostitution in an attempt to counteract the loneliness she felt .

Ms Cooper also says the hormone injections left her with extreme emotions and a high sex drive, but that she can not find the love she craves with either sex.

She believes she will have better luck in love as a 'trendy' gay man, and that returning to being a male will help heal the damaged relationships with her family.

‘I don’t want to live in isolation, away from everyone I love. This is the only way forward. I just want to be happy and this is my last chance.’

News flash folks! Having a sex change fixes exactly one thing and one thing alone... it fixes absolutely nothing else in your life period! For all those out there in Blog-O-Stan with unhappy lives who feel this sigh of relief about the other problems in their lives when they go out enfemm and so are wondering if maybe they are transsexual too? Wondering if maybe they too should consider going whole hog and taking the plunge to "Living as a Woman?"

Here this and hear it well! Transition is a one way street that should be taken ONLY by those for whom the idea of their living straddling the fence between a mind configured one way and a body configured the other is simply unworkable! For all others, this path should NEVER even be considered, much less taken... You do know there is a damned good reason they call it "a woman's lot in life" and if you are not a woman, then you so don't want to be finding this out the hard way as this poor soul has what that means! Nor do you want to be coming to the same rude surprise she had that all the other problems in her life were still there if not bigger!

So how do we go about figuring this one out? Surprise! In depth therapy with a very well trained specialist might just do the trick eh? One who has actually seen those oh so rare type VI's for whom this is clearly the right path, (which she is not by the way) as well as one who has a better than good understanding of those V's for whom this is not their path until there are no other options left as well as one who has the strength to say no to those IV's for whom this is never the right path! That's right campers... the oh so dreaded SOC really is there to protect you from yourself and no other reason!

So to all of you I say, Keep on mucking about getting these requirements diminished if not removed all together if you like and as the Jewish Curse says. "You might just get what you are asking for!"


Sunday, October 28, 2012

What is "Trans?"

Recently Miz Know It All stumbled across a You Tube on Mercedes Allen's site called "The Mask of Gender." In this video, a Registered Psychologist by the name of Jane Oxenbury is speaking as an clear authority on what is this thing called "trans(gender)."

Transgendered is actually more scientific term, it's an umbrella term under which, there would be transsexual people, people who feel they are not in the right gender, and people who are trans/and/er/ah transvestites, people who crossdress. So trans--gendered is an umbrella term for those two, but again it's a very scientific term!
I mean I have had, I've had a lot of people who've had some really good luck where you know and younger people who have gone to into work places and explained to people that they are in the process of transitioning or that this is who they are now or whatever and they have had some really good luck people are really accepting not all the time though not all the time."

It's clear, even to Miz Know It All that this person is not the least bit comfortable being filmed, so please! Do not fire off hundreds of comments about how this proves that Miz Know It All is just a big Ol' Meannie for included the stammering pauses and the fact that this barely makes any sense.

Cause there is a whole other reason she has done her very very best in putting this down exactly as spoken. That being,  because she has no way to add into the narrative how every-single-time Ms Oxenbury ventured past the term transsexual. Her gaze shifts hard upwards and to the right. Something which in human physiology indicates she is reaching deep into herself to access the creative side of her brain for terms! This despite the fact that she is supposedly describing something which according to her is VERY scientific and, is her stock in trade! Hummmm... I dare say Ms Oxenbury would have no such problem staring us straight in the eye while speaking if she was describing how the earth circled the sun or why the sky was blue, or how babies get made, yet even though this is supposedly her specialty, a thing which she has trained for and which she does day in and day out, she still cannot come close to giving even a remotely clear explanation of what it is she is taking about!

In her very own words, "There are transsexuals and...?"

Ok now to the reason I'm posting this---and it is not as all of you think, to poke fun at Ms Oxenbury or to poke fun anyone for that matter! The one and the ONLY reason I am posting this is because these terms are bandied about like we are all talking about the exact same thing. When the reality, as far as Miz Know It All can see, is that when the words Trans, Transgendered are employed in a conversation. That while they do have whatever meaning speaker thinks them to be. There is no sort of conception, if, on the listeners side they mean even remotely the same things!

So, for now, I am yielding the floor to one and all... Please!This is your turn! So feel completely free to elucidate on the subject to your hearts content! I will delete absolutely no comments unless they veer from the one and the only ground rule here!

No snarkyness about others definitions of the terms trans or transgender!

Really! No matter how far they may be from your definition, please keep it to yourself. Seriously! If we ever are going to have any sort hope ofa dialog then it behooves us to at least hear what others think they are saying when they say...

Trans or Transgender(ed)


Sunday, October 21, 2012


It's often said of Miz Know It All that she hates, (insert gender-issue-group name here) Hate is a pretty strong word and in this case, it's wrong! Oh for sure, Miz Know It All actually does hate a few things in this world! Heading her list would be Braised Sea Cucumber in Fish Sauce! If you've never had it, count yourself very very fortunate! Besides, Miz Know It All really should have known, when the first, the waiter, the Maitre d', then the Owner of the restaurant all in quick succession came to her and said she would not like it, that they may have had her best interests at heart after all!.

Anyway, after Sea Cucumber, I think the only thing that she actually "Hates" in this world is the loss that comes with death! Something about how the beauty, intelligence and love that was once embodied in a living being is forever lost sets Miz Know It All's teeth on edge like nothing else... I hope you notice a trend here campers! This so far is a very short list and these things are sorta the same... they are both indigestible!

While Miz Know It All also finds (insert gender-issue-group name here) to not exactly be at all palatable, they don't quite reach the level of what she would consider to be indigestible and so, they are not hated by Moi! Really! I do not hate (insert gender-issue-group name here)! That said, it's pretty likely that also I do not understand you and there is much about what you do that pisses me off, but for all that, I do not, repeate, do not hate you for it!

Let me explain! No matter if you've read Benjamin, or Vitalie, or Blanchard, or for that matter anyone who has studied (insert gender-issue-group name here) at length, the one thing that always comes clear in the wash is there are three different groups, Two of which are pretty similar, and one which is only sorta the same, kinda like how in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams describes a tempid brown drink "which is almost but not entirely unlike tea."

The first group, when born it would seem, knows beyond all certainty that a terrible mistake was made and they insist that said mistake must be set to rights like now,
The second is more of the "uhhh...waiter? this isn't at all what I ordered!" variety, who, for a time, given that the very surly waiters (read parents, teachers and everyone else in their lives) sorta intimidate the snot out of em. Will try their very best to eat the gross canned tomato soup with stale crackers they were given when they know beyond all that is good and bad, they ordered fresh gazpacho! But it matters not if they manage to only eat one or two spoon fulls of the palp, or even a few dozen, they will also eventually say "enough,"  drop their forced manners and call the surly waiter to the table where they too will insist, and quite forcefully, that this be set to rights like now!
The third, near as she can tell is more about the acting out of some aspect of gender than their being in anyway the wrong sex. Because for them, it would seem, it is more their role in life as it was handed them just doesn't fit who they are! It might be something as innocent as they like to play dress up, a very harmless past time, but one which adult men are not allowed to do! It might be that they can only get their rocks off if they are thinking about women's panties or if they are thinking about themselves as sorta abstractly being women, it might be that they have always envied something  else of the other sex, the hair, the ease in certain things, the bodies... it matters not in the end, because it still comes down to there is something that they see in the other sex that they do not have and they want it! Again, despite popular opinion to the contrary, Miz Know It All actually has like zero problem with folks making their world and their "gender" fit them better! Really! She doesn't! As long as their doing it does not require her to have to change her own world all that much to accommodate them, then whatever they want to do is just peachy with her...

Ahh but that's the rub isn't it? The nasty little devil that is always in the details! The third group it seems is insistant, not only upon redefining the very nature of what is female, but they also insist that the few who make up the first two groups simply must come and play with them no matter what! That somehow, because the first two groups were born with the same "things" as they, that we all must be the same! In fact, they will go out of their way to insure that not only do the first two know this, but that the whole world knows this as well! "We are all the same! We are all the same!" This is their to arms rallying cry! Or, in a rather perverse twist on "ignore the man behind the curtain," they will actually reverse that cry and make out that the first two groups actually need a good deal of sympathy because they are some sort of uber defective that needs to be pitied for having to go to extremes like surgery that they didn't! So.... poor things, they simply must be included as a minor part of this big happy family "for their own good!"

Sorry, but being forced to be part of something that you don't want to be and aren't, just isn't playing very nicely is it? In fact, their doing so much produces something rather much like the discomfort that the third group seems to feel because the rest of the world imposes that same thing on them... but somehow, it's ok when they do it to others... hummmmm...

Why is that do you suppose? I know, and so do you! Julie Serano, being singularly honest as one of "our activists," actually had the decency to spell it out once, but only once... as she put it (paraphrased) if the third group doesn't have the first two, (read that as the groups who are normal in every aspect of their lives other than being able to reproduce) to be their "front man" to the world, then things are certainly gonna be way harder for them to face that same world! So like it or not... "we don't want things harder, so tough noogies one and two, we ain't a-gonna let ya go!" Still, while this is so supremely annoying like you cannot believe, it still does not quite raise Miz Know It All's ire to the level of hate... What does, and what makes her so damned angry she could spit, is that in the doing of this, two very very bad things happen to the first two groups. Two things which if the latter group is even aware, they certainly pay no heed to!

The first, is that they will make damned sure that their message,  you can't have your dreams is heard by every-last-one in the first two groups whether they already heard it or not! That even having those sort of dreams makes you unfair, elitist, even privileged and definitely a hater if you will, all just for wanting those dreams! Listen! No matter what you think you know, or that you have heard! Being part of the first two groups is not some sort of privilege! It's more akin to having been given a horrible deforming cancer which you have only a narrow window of time to correct before it kills you. This is not hyperbole on my part!If this issue of being the wrong sex is not fixed, death is a certainty!

But what does "fixed" mean? For the first two it simply means that every aspect that was wrong is excised from their lives! EVERY ASPECT! ... shall I say it again? EVERY ASPECT! Again, just like a cancer, not a single cell of that wrongness can be left behind! Sure there will be scars from the procedure, there always are, but they are minimal, and once the healing is done, they will fade from sight and memory, and a perfectly normal life can and will be had... The members of the first two groups can, if they undeterred from the very hard work that lays before them, actually come to have that husband, the 2.4 kids (adopted) and the white picket fence they always dreamed of. These are all very realistic goal for the members of the first two groups, well I should say they are as realistic as they are for anyone! But they are not at all realistic and never will be, if during that horrible and painful beyond all you can imagine time of trying to set things to right, the message of "you can't" from the third group is heard just one too many times. It is far from easy to fix this thing... particularly for the second group, cause they by not insisting then and there, have all these added issues that came about, because unlike the first group, they stupidly didn't refuse the wrongness right out of the gate! Rather they wasted time trying to play nice and accept the icky disgusting thing set before them knowing that the surly waiters are going to do their best to not have to take it back, and they, the surly waiters, are very very good at what they do! They know that these "waiters" will use every trick in the book to insure that a member of either of the first two groups served by them is not going to leave there without paying for a meal they did not not want or did not order, and so, the ONLY thing that there is that will get you out of there with all the wrong set to rights is the unwavering belief that you can do it!  Take that away from them? All you have done is to postpone the inevitable death simply because the cancer was not excised!So ya know? Robbing folks of their hopes and dreams and inviting them to a life of misery and eventual death is so not a very nice thing and so, that too joins the short list of things which Miz Know It All hates!

The second part of this is, that by (insert gender-issue-group name here) constantly and quite wrongly asserting to the entire world that we are all the same. Something which is always done for reasons which do not and cannot in anyway benefit anyone but members of the third group! They have set up this very ugly situation where even if and when the message of  "you can't" is ducked... The members of the first two groups are sure to be left in an increasingly precarious situation where even if they do manage to everything right... Even if they pay the blood price and do the back breaking work, their hard won dreams can still be taken from them by a world, which like them, has also heard that "all the same" message just a few too many times! So even if a young girl fights her way past all the horrible things that lay between her and success, including all those out there telling her she can't! Emerging seemingly unscathed on the other side of a hell you cannot possibly begin to imagine, and ready to take up a perfectly normal life... The knowledge of her past which is tainted by the third group, becomes an ever increasing monster lurking there in the shadows, and it does this because of this reinforced tie to her not being female but to of her being something "other!" ie? male! This means that despite her best efforts, everything she ever wanted or worked so hard for can all be yanked from her in the blink of an eye!

She may have that wonderful husband, who tried! He really really tried, but  he is mortal and he also has heard one time too many that we are all the same, meaning, we're all queer! We're all LGBT! See? Lesbian, GAY and Transgender... All the same! So he finds himself torn, even though he loves her with all his heart. He just cannot look at her, his wife, ever again as being female knowing that the whole world thinks him a flaming homo for being with her! Her kids? The reason she gets up in the morning, the thing which she adores and lover more than anything in the world can even be taken away from her by courts which are not at all sympathetic to her being a female, because they too have heard this message of "impossible," one too many times. Or her kids might not even be able to be adopted by her because of it! Jobs can and will be lost, Careers derailed, friends which held her trust for for decades come to shun her! The casual gawkers by the score will come out of the wood work and suddenly, she will find she's become the topic of the week round the water coolers all over town... "Did you know that ______ was really a dude? Yeah, way! He's like a dude! I kno! Me too! Like I would have so boned him before I knew he was like a dude! Gross! So who knew his husband was like all homo and queer that way?" Having this happen to one of the first two groups is as perverse as having a cured cancer reinserted into your body! It's sick! It's twisted! And it is cruel beyond all possible measure! So, for insisting solely for your own benefit that we are not female, and never will be or can be anything than an other, is so incredibly mean, that this too lands on the short list of Miz Know It All's hates!

So there you have it! While Miz Know It All really is an accepting and very tolerant person who would be more than happy to do all she could to support the members of the third group in their quest for expanding their lives! But for the fact that their quest seems to involve the complete denial of any and all support for both her needs, and more, for the young ones coming behind her! She finds herself in the uncomfortable position of having to choose between the lesser of two evils, and so she, like all humans, chooses her own tribe! Sorry if that feels like hate to you, but as long as those two things are on the table and not even open to negotiation, then sadly, she must continue to fight against them and the (insert gender-issue-group name here) folks doing it!


Saturday, October 20, 2012

I Want My Pig and Your's too!

 Whilst wandering the back halls of Blog-O-Stan recently Miz Know It All came upon this rant. Now while Miz Know It All is certainly no fan of the TSA as it seems, like most of the "War On Terror" in the USA to be mostly window dressing meant to keep the citizens fearful and there for willing to sacrifice their liberties. She, none the less is going to comply as it's just not the fight she wants to pick when getting from hither to yon! One wrong tick on a computer and you and you're luggage is going to get up close and personal at every terminal you enter or leave. Like I said... not the fight I am ready to take on!

So what has the TSA to do with the nonsense one finds in the aether of Blog-O-Stan? Simple... For the TSA to function in as much as it sorta functions, they have the Herculean task of trying to figure out in seconds flat if the person standing in front of them, with thousands more waiting impatiently, are in fact the person they say they are!. Obviously this would mean those who's ID is quite different than their appearance are going to automatically get shuffled off to the double check line.This means that those who are obviously not the sex that is identified on their papers, or whom have altered their appearance to not match their papers, do not get to pass go, they do not collect 200.00 or £124.95 for those readers who are sticklers for such things! They are going off to the quiet room area where their person can be checked MUCH closer... Anyway! The point being, that if one is going to either not have their paperwork up to snuff or they choose to be labile in their gender expression then they should expect if they are flying to get patted down! Miz Know It All, having had a joint rebuilt with metal parts has had it done to her, and she is hear to say it is pretty painless! A quick check that all is as it should be, and then whoosh, you're on your way! Quickly forgetten by the bored TSA as they go on to check the next 900 they will pat down that day!

Ahh but there is a fly in this ointment... We are a sexually dimorphic species! This means that the TSA has to pat down both males and females! Miz Know It All is the first to say that while she will tolerate for the sake of not falling from the sky in what was once, before the bomb an airplane, being physically checked by other females. She has no desire to have strange men laying their hands upon her without her first having invited it! Miz Know It All is not alone in this as most human females feel pretty much the same! This means that if we are going to have pat downs, they need to be handled by a member of the same sex as the passenger getting patted down.

Simply no? Well not in Blog-O-Stan it ain't! Nope in Blog-O-Stan, feeling like what the person doing the feeling like thinks is a woman or a man is all that counts! Which means that anyone and every one else they encounter on this great big ball of mud is suppose to ignore their several hundreds of thousands of years of evolutionary imprinting, and without daring to actually ask as that would be hateful! Ascertain if this person actually feels like what they think a man feels like, or if they feel like what they think a woman feels like!

Confused? Good! You are suppose to be confused! It's not called Gender Queer by those who practice it cause it's easy to figure out now is it! The average person, that meaning the other 7 some odd billion of us are meant to be put off by this behavior, yet at the same time have the social decorum required of us to not throw rocks and sticks at these very strange looking humans standing before them... Fortunately for them, and for us, we all have busy busy lives with little time to take up in our throwing rocks and sticks at strange and funny looking people... So we fall back to our evolutionary memory and we figure out in a split second if this strange looking person appear to be male or female and then that done, if they pose any actual threat to us. If not? We give em a big ol' eh... and then go merrily on with thef ar more important things in our lives. Like getting from hither to yon, or in the case of the TSA, trying to insure that the plane going from hither to yon actually gets there in one piece!

Which brings me back to the rant by They Erin McElroy. Yes, "They" which in the English Language usually denotes more than one person and not a single individual but this person has made it their life choice to be a whole bunch of people all wrapped up in one! So I guess "They" may be correct. Anyway. "They", are quite torqued about having been asked by the TSA what was between "They's" legs as "They" have gone to great lengths to make it anything but obvious! Now had this been just a stupid random question asked by a bored asshole wanting to show off for the other guys. Well I think that "They" would have had a very good reason to be upset... but the TSA explained why "They's" sex needed to be known. Cause "They" had self selected to get patted down and as we discussed earlier... NO woman wants to be groped by man unknown to her!

So which is it to be "They" Erin McElroy? Do we set aside the comfort of half of the human race so you do not have to be asked about your actual sex or do you need to grow up and deal with the fact that you have set yourself theyself? outside the norms the rest of us live in? My answer... grow up and leave my pig alone!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Form Follows Function

Every now and again, Miz Know It All has to sit quietly for a time as she trys to make heads or tails out of the nonsense she encounters in the lands of Blog-O-Stan. For sure, it's more than expected that she'll find the written ejaculations of those fevered soul basement dwellers who's only life is a stream of electrons being overly represented. But it was still shocking to her when she finds their nonsensical rantings have found their way into the minds of folk she assumed have at least some tenuous grasp of the real... Alas tis not the case is it?

So for your consideration, let me take you back to a concept first expounded on by the American Architect Louis Sullivan,

 Of all things physical and metaphysical,
Of all things human and all things super-human,
Of all true manifestations of the head,
Of the heart, of the soul,
That the life is recognizable in its expression,
That form ever follows function. This is the law.

Indeed life does, as Mr Sullivan noted demand that form follows the function, and the human animal is no exception to the iron rule of biology. We are a sexually dimorphic species as elequently put in Genesis 1:27 "In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Though I prefer Mao's "women hold up half the sky" the point remains the same. The human animal is comprised of both male and female. Each with specific biological functions, and so both have specific forms to carry out those functions.

So lets take a look at those forms and their functions for a moment shall we? I guess one could say that the males of the species serve but one function biologically. They ejaculate their semen within the female. For this function they come equipped with a penis with which to deliver the semen and a pair of testicles with which to create it. But saying that might be just a wee tad simplistic because the human animal when born is one of the creatures the least capable of survival without years upon years of nurturing and development! So the male of the species has also has a form which is adapted to his role in that nurturing and development. His role in this is to provide for and protect both the young and the female(s) he has paired with. The male that does this to insures that his progeny will reach breeding age and so pass on his DNA. So in addition to the form of having specialized sexual parts of the male, there are also other forms particular to his half of the species. As a rule the male is larger and far stronger that the female, with broad shoulders and a small pelvis. He has proportionally shorter but more powerful legs, and straight arms designed for throwing and fighting. His rib cage is broader to accommodate a larger heart and lungs his muscles are designed for quick bursts of energy and are more pronounced than in the female. His head is bigger and the jaw much deeper. He even has brow ridges so he can hunt without the rain getting in his eyes...

Likewise the female of the species also is highly specialized, and like the male she could simplistically be said to be defined by form as being just the receptor for the males ejaculate as well as the vessel from which the developing young created by that union will be born. But remember the human animal arrives on the planet in a condition so immaturely developed that death will occur with certainty in minutes if not taken care of completely! Just as the male of the species has developed forms towards protecting and providing for the care of the young so his DNA will pass. So to has the female of the species developed her own form and devices towards the production of and the years of care required by her progeny of they are to survive. She has larger breasts than the male with larger more developed nipples. Which serve after the child's birth to provide the only food that will can sustain the human infant for the first year or so, She is fatter than the male so that she has the nutritional reserves to sustain both her and to provide for the production of milk. She has arms which are bent inwards so she can cradle the child to her breast. She is smaller as she has no need to be the hunter/protector. That is the males purpose, and her body is far more compact with a much larger central circulatory system than the males again to provide for the well being of the foetus developing within her Her pelvis is much larger proportionally than the males to allow for a fully developed foetus to be passed from within her body. Her lower body is also proportionally much larger than the males so she can carry the additional weight of herself and an a developing foetus. Her hands and feet are smaller her face is far more rounded, her eyes larger, her nose smaller, her bite is lesser, all of which serve a function in aiding in the reproduction of the species

For not only must the male and female work together with their specialized functions to create and then sustain the child(ren) they produce if they are to carry on their DNA. The choice of mate selection is also highly critical in assuring success. A sickly poorly developed mate is unlikely to either provide what is needed as their cellular contribution and is unlikely to have the physical strength be able to carry the burden of this child to adulthood... meaning that if picked, this line of DNA is likely to die out.

So we find when it comes to mate selection, in the other half of the species visual, auditory, tactile, and olfactory clues to which we call beauty in both the males and which females. Forms or characteristics if you will because if present, they likely mean that person is a better candidate for breeding The ideal mate is of course symmetrical, a strong clue to better DNA and of their over all health, They are young, meaning better able to carry on for the years required to raise a child, they have clear healthy skin. bright eyes, clean teeth and they have all of them. They smell right and not sickly, their pheromones are clearly communicated, and their voice when performing the mating dance is clear and strong! They exhibit a fluidity of movement and a strength proportional to their half of the species. In short they demonstrate good health and the forms which indicate a better than even chance of success in producing children.

Therefor, as a rule the female will find a male who is larger and stronger and fitter then her to be the most pleasing to her eye and more likely to be one she will offer her body to, just as a male will find a female who's body shows the characteristics which would indicate she is the most fertile and without children by other men to be the most pleasing and most desirous to him. The ideal female will have a hip to waist ratio of 0.7 which indicates she is a female most likely to become preggers and to be able to deliver live children. Her face if found pleasing will likely be more "immature" looking than the males. Because if she had and has adequate and timely estrogen release it caps the bone growth causing her face to remain immature unlike the males.

The clues we give to both which sex we are and how desirable we are as mates are numinous and far too long to list here. But the point being, that we humans have, over thousands upon thousands upon thousands of years developed the ability to not only tell in a fraction of a second which sex a person is but also how they rank on the scale of their being good mates or not!

Take the things said of a female child. They are straight from that play book!. Oh she is so pretty! Of the male? He is so strong and smart! Both are meant to indicate characteristics which will become the most important factors about this person in the grand scheme of things from a biological stand point or... put another way, their form following their function. Namely, if they are going to be the ones to pass on DNA or not! So far this is human bio 101 meets human sexuality 101 and really should not be news to any of us...

But dear campers it would seem that to a small but rather vocal section of Blog-O-Stan, this is not only utterly unknown, it is a news so far removed from their take on reality as to be purest of heresies! I am speaking here of course about the Land of the Misfit Toys, other wise known as The Trans-World! For it seems that in this strange and frighting land, not only are all the primary characteristics of what we read in a split second as male and female discounted as meaningless, all the rest of the secondary characteristics are likewise discounted as meaningless! You see in this world, not only do we have characteristics which we read clearly as male means nothing... We are suppose to input from a smattering of not the first tier, nor of the second tier, but of what are pretty much random third tier characteristics that this person is indeed a female and not a male! So that means that even though this person has both a functional penis and testicles it is meaningless! That this person is very large, with huge hands and feet, a narrow pelvis, broad shoulders and brow ridges, means nothing! That they have a deep voice, they smell of male musk and their movements and actions are all characteristics of those of a male, again it means nothing. No in the "trans-verse" this person must be a female because they seem to have small breasts and more so, because they have done things to their faces with make up to imitate the look of female, that they are indeed female!

Now how it is we are suppose to arrive at this conclusion that they are female seems must be by some sort of mental telepathy. Given that the only thing we have to go on here is indeed their word that they "feel like a woman" because all visual clues other than a random smattering are off the table for consideration! Yes in this strange land on the other side of the looking glass. To have any of the physical forms which we would call male means nothing. Just as having the ones which indicate female are likewise meaningless! In the Tran-reality, a man is only a man if and when he says he is, or we happen to sense it from the great beyond, and the same for a woman. She is only a woman if she says she is or we sense it too from the aethher of nothingness! A woman in the trans-space can have a penis and a man can have periods! A woman in the trans-continuum can mount another woman and a man can lordose and become preggers... and in all of this. We the others are suppose to ascertain without any of those clues we apply to the rest of the human race, if this be a "real" man or woman, and not some deluded and likely rather dangerous person strictly because they say so!

Why I can see the conversation now... "Excuse me... but are you a dangerous and deluded lunatic who appears to be a man dressed as a woman or are you a trans-woman? Why? Oh I mean nothing personal by it at all sir? I mean Ma'am? Sir? Oh whichever! I just had to ask because I couldn't ascertain what your "identity" was by the way you appear!

Well there you go! That's it! Why I think that even dense Ol' Miz Know It All has finally got it! This is exactly what the mother of one of the girls on the swim team should have said to poor Coleen Francis rather than her clearly transphobic reaction of calling the police about what she "perceived to a be a man" by the presence of a penis and testicles in the woman's locker room. She should have calmly and collectedly ascertained by direct questioning of Coleen if Coleen was a dangerous and deluded lunatic who posed a danger to her and the girls on the team, or if Collen was a trans-woman! Therefor, if by having ascertained by the necessary direct questioning, that this was a real-trans-woman and not some a dangerous and deluded lunatic getting his jolly's by watching young girls be naked in the showers, then she could have informed the girls of this fact so they too could have known, that despite their ancestral biological conditioning to the contrary, this particular penis and set of testicles was own by a real live trans-female and not a male!

So I guess campers, the lesson to take away here is; when one is in Washington State, the rules that have governed us as a species for a hundred thousand years no longer apply! Because dear dear campers it would seem that when one is in Washington State, form indeed no longer follows function! Which come to think of it might explain why the plans for their new state house show it to be in the shape of a pyramid built with the pointy side down! Don't you just love progress!

Tah for now!